Tim Hawkins

This guy is hilarious...."Lord, change this Cheeto into a carrot stick as it goes down..."

Mere Christianity

Yo! Just wanted to check in with you, and let you know I'm currently reading Mere Christianity by none other than C.S. Lewis. I've always wanted to read his classic works, but never had the book! Well, thankfully I got his collection for Christmas, so I'm super excited. Currently, my favorite quote is, "But one word of warning. There has been a great deal of soft soap talked about God for the last hundred years. That is not what I am offering. You can cut all that out." Haha, I think that's awesome...thus, it's also on my facebook quotes.

Oh, another random update: So, I think I have more Calvinistic leanings than I previously thought. Before, I think agreed with up to 3 points of Calvinism, but now I think it's shifted to 4 out of the 5 (meaning T-U-_-I-P of the acronym, for those of you who know it. U is the latest addition ). I'm not up to explaining everything right now though, so I'll save that for a rainy day...

So, I haven't posted in FOREVER

Sorry about that. I guess I just don't do it that often because I have such slow internet access at home...but that has now changed!! We got DSL last week, and I'm oh-so-excited. I mean, I can actually check facebook in like a minute versus 10!!

So what's new? Well, I just returned home after spending a week with Aaron for the BIG WEDDING! I think it went really well and I'm extremely happy for them. I've seen them grow and change a lot as a couple, so it was cool to see this culminating act of marriage.

Great new song!

What Life Would Be Like--Big Daddy Weave

I wish I was more of a man
Have you ever felt that way
And if I had to tell you the truth
I'm afraid I'd have to say
That after all I've done and failed to do
I feel like less than I was meant to be

What if I could fix myself
Maybe then I could get free
I could try to be somebody else
Who's much better off than me
But I need to remember this
That it's when I'm at my weakest
I can clearly see

He made the lame walk and the dumb talk
And He opened blinded eyes to see
That the sun rises on His time
Yet He knows our deepest desperate need
And the world waits while His heart aches
To realize the dream
I wonder what life would be like if we let Jesus live through you and me

What if you could see yourself through another pair of eyes
What if you could hear the truth
Instead of old familiar lies
What if you could feel inside
The power of the hand that made the universe You'd realize

That He made the lame walk and the dumb talk
And He opened blinded eyes to see
That the sun rises on His time
Yet He knows our deepest desperate need
And the world waits while His heart aches
To realize the dream
I wonder what life would be like if we let Jesus live through you and me

Yeah, yeah

All our hearts they burn within us
All our lives we've longed for more
So let us lay our lives before the one who gave His life for us

He made the lame walk and the dumb talk
He opened blinded eyes to see
That the sun rises on His time
Yet He knows our deepest desperate need
And the world waits while His heart aches
To realize the dream
I wonder what life would be like if we let Jesus live through you and me

Yeah, yeah
Let Him live through you and me
Yeah, yeah

Not a song this time!!

Just some words of wisdom from the Lord. I've always liked this passage from 2 Corinthians 2:14-16:

But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere. 15 For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing, 16 to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life.

But today I was reading the entire chapter during my time with the Lord, and it had a whole new meaning within the context of the chapter. In verses 12 and 13, Paul is writing about his disappointment in not being able to visit the Corinthians. Although the Lord gave him an opportunity (v.12), he still didn't feel led in his spirit to go there. Therefore, his plans changed and he just had to carry on from there, whatever presented itself next. So to contextualize this with the next verses reiterates God's sovereignty. Whenever things do go as you plan, or even if they don't go according to how you thing God is leading you, always know that He is in control, and now matter what you do, you have the opportunity to spread the gospel and the fragrance of Christ. What an incredible promise!

Yep, another song...

This one's by The Almost, and it's called Amazing, Because It Is

I was so scared of everything you put in front of me
I've been arching every part of me
Just to see
See
Why you need me to be
The boy you need me to be

Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saves a wretch like me
I once was lost
And now I'm found
Was blind but now I see

I just wanna see

I'm the type of person who lets fear drive
I'm the type of guy who lets it drive
Cause I'm addicted, I'm needy,
I'm lost without you
I need you
I need you

Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saves a wretch like me
I once was lost
But now I'm found
Was blind but now I see

Amazing grace (amazing grace)
How sweet the sound (how sweet)
That saved a wretch like me (that saved a wretch like me)
I once was lost
But now I'm found (you know I'm found)
Was blind but now I see

Amazing grace (you're amazing)
How sweet the sound (you're amazing)
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost (it feels so bad when you're lost and alone)
But now I'm found
Was blind but now I see

Whatever You're Doing

This is a song I heard for the first time the other day by Sanctus Real, and I really liked it.

It's time for healing time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
And all I can do is surrender

(Chorus)
Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something Heavenly

Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Reevaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow Your will
Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is You want from me
I give everything I surrender...
To...

(Chorus)

Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to release all my held back tears

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly
Something Heavenly

It's time to face up
Clean this old house
Time breathe in and let everything out

Habakkuk 3:17-19

I've been battling with some things lately and just wanted to share. Sometimes (ok, often) it is SO easy for us to get caught up in our struggles and worries and in the process to lose focus of God. These are the moments that hurt the most, and the pain of that struggle is intensified when we distance ourselves from God. In the midst of our problems we tend to zoom in on that and forget about everything else. It is in those moments, however, that it is so important to zoom back out, always looking unto Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith.

In those hard moments, we must acknowledge that God's strong hand will always hold us, even if it seems we have no strength to hold Him. When you stop to critique your faith, you lose focus on Christ. Faith is sustained by looking unto Christ, not by analyzing your faith.

Here's my rendition of Habakkuk 3:17-19, some beautiful verses that I strive to cling to:

Though the fig tree doesn't blossom, or no fruit grows on the vines,
Though the produce of the olive fails, and the fields yield no food,
Though the flock is cut off from the fold, and there is no herd in the stalls,
Despite these--I will rejoice in the Lord;
I will take joy in the God of my salvation.
God, the Lord, is my strength;
He makes my feet swift like the deer's;
He makes me tread through high places.

It is in those most difficult moments of pain that we must realize that God is with us, He is on our side, carrying us through, and He knows exactly what He's doing. Additionally, these struggles will ultimately strengthen us, refine us, and help us to love God even more, bringing Him all the more glory.

My Sister's Wedding

Check out my sis' wedding pics!

Search Me, Know Me-Jonah 33

Search me, know me
Try me and see
Every worthless affection hidden in me
All I'm asking for is that You'd cleanse me, Lord

Create in me a heart that's clean
Conquer the power of secret shame
Come wash away the guilty stain of all my sin

Clothe me in robes of righteousness
Cover my nakedness with grace
All of my life before You now I humbly bring

--------------------

Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!
[Psalm 139.23-24]

Jesus Texts!

16Your words were found, and I ate them,
and your words became to me a joy
and the delight of my heart,
for I am called by your name,
O LORD, God of hosts.
[Jeremiah 15.16]

A friend send me a text message the other day with "Jeremiah 15:16" as the signature. So, I looked up the passage to see what it was. I recognized the verse--it's one of my favorites, and in fact I had it underlined already. And so I was like, oh, that's nice. And then the moment was almost over, before I started thinking, you know, this is one thing I've really been struggling with. I think one of the most important things for a Christian to do is to daily be in communion with God through his Word. So, I try to start my day off doing that every morning. Some days are really great, and I can feel God's Spirit moving and teaching me through the Word. It becomes a joy to learn these new things and I treasure them in my heart. And then there are the other days. Days when I can't focus, when I don't feel good, when I don't desire to meet with God or to learn about Him. Or days when I DO desire to meet with God but for some reason I just don't feel that sense of communion. I read and it goes right through me. If you asked me to summarize what I had read merely 30 seconds after reading it I couldn't do it. Or I'll read and think, well that's nice, what does it have to do with me? I struggle a lot with applying it to my life and making it real to me. So, with these thoughts in mind, I read past Jeremiah 15:16 to see what else it had to say.

17 I did not sit in the company of revelers,
nor did I rejoice;
I sat alone, because your hand was upon me,
for you had filled me with indignation.
18Why is my pain unceasing,
my wound incurable,
refusing to be healed?
Will you be to me like a deceitful brook,
like waters that fail?

So, once I read this, I was kinda feeling worse. I was like, hey, that's me! Sometimes I'm not rejoicful, sometimes I feel lonely. Is God at work in the midst of this? Is His hand upon me? And then verse 18 really got me. No joke, I was like, "yeah God! Yeah! What's up with this? Why does it have to hurt so much? What's going on?" To which He responded,

19Therefore thus says the LORD: "If you return, I will restore you,
and you shall stand before me.
If you utter what is precious, and not what is worthless,
you shall be as my mouth.

Oh. Ouch. So, it's my fault? True, it typically is. I'm not saying this is always the case, but oftentimes when we struggle with our relationship with God it's because of sin in our life that we're unwilling to give up. Or there's something God is calling us to do and we haven't responded. For Jeremiah, he had wandered away from God. So God basically told him, I'm right here. I never left. I'm where I've always been and I'm waiting for you. I'll take you back, always. Just please come to Me, because I desperately desire for you to be completely fulfilled and satisfied in Me.

Love Heals Your Heart-Third Day

Did you think you were immune to this
Did you think you could escape without infection
You do all you're able to resist
Just to avoid the danger of rejection

Memory warns you of the past
When it all went wrong

When you think your life is shattered
And there's no way to be fixed again
Love heals your heart
At a time you least expected
You're alive like you have never been
Love heals your heart

Everybody has a wall to climb
That was built to guard the pain that holds them captive
Every smile that they would hide behind
Will try to mask the hurt beneath the surface

Sometimes it's hard to understand
How we're trapped inside

When you think your life is shattered
And there's no way to be fixed again
Love heals your heart
At a time you least expected
You're alive like you have never been
Love heals your heart

Breaking My Fall-Jeremy Camp

So easily I fall, So easily you reach your hand out,
Quickly will I drown, Know the pulls of all my reason,
So easily will I feel, So easily will your peace surpass me,
Quickly will I trust in anything I think is worthy,
How many times you make the waves calm down,
So I wont be afraid now ?

[CHORUS:]
I saw you breaking my, breaking my fall,
What am I supposed to do ?
I saw you breaking my, breaking my fall,
What am I suppose to do ?
(What am I suppose to do?)

How precious are your thoughts ?
(How precious are your thoughts?)
And how many of them, you think about me,
Faithful are your ways,
I always feel your grace abound me,
Quickly will I call,
Quickly will you answer my cry,
Carefully will you bring, everything I need in my life,
How many of times you make the waves calm down,
So I wont be afraid now ?

[CHORUS:]
I saw you breaking my, breaking my fall,
What am I supposed to do ?
I saw you breaking my, breaking my fall,
What am I supposed to do ?
(What am I supposed to do?)

This narrow road I'm walking,
This world tries to draw,
Whoever will help me fight it,
But you wont face it all,

[CHORUS:]
I saw you breaking my, breaking my fall,
What am I supposed to do ?
I saw you breaking my, breaking my fall,
What am I supposed to do ?
(What am I supposed to do?)

Hard Words

After Jesus explained that he was the bread of life, some of his disciples said, "This is a hard saying; who can listen to it?" (John 6:60).

Have you ever had something like that happen in your life? Something that was really hard to understand, hard to grasp, but something God was calling you to do anyway?

I've been praying that God would help me do something, that he would prepare me for a change coming in my life. I've done it slightly begrudgingly, not really wanted to have to change. Well, God has answered my prayer, and instead of being rejoicful (ha, I totally just made that word up), I've kind of been like, 'you know God, I would have been ok if you hadn't answered this one.' Does the phrase, "be careful what you wish for" come to mind?

I've been trying to remind myself of God's sovereignty, however. God knows what's best for me, whether I want him to follow through on the prayer or not. And then I have to remember that it was He who placed the situation on my heart anyway, so it was in His will that I should be praying about it from the beginning.

So, what's the point of this post? I guess to share with you what I'm learning, to follow God's will for your life--He knows what's best. No matter how hard it seems, He has a plan, He has a purpose.

Disciples

I think one of the biggest problems in the church today is a decreasing number of disciples. By disciples, I mean people who are truly in God's word, who are leaders, who openly share their faith, in short, things that a typical Christian should do. Jesus says, "If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free" (John 8:31-32).

Where are all the disciples? Let me be clear, I am definitely speaking to myself on this too. How can we as Christians expect to be disciples if we are not daily in God's word and constantly meditating on it and letting it change us? We can't!

Father, I pray that you would give us all a desire for your word!

Great Songs

Here's some songs I've downloaded recently from iTunes, because I like them so much and they're awesome. You should check them out! Some of them are really common, and so multiple artists have done them, but here's the ones I chose:

Rescue, Desperation Band
Lead Me To The Cross, Hillsong United
Give Us Clean Hands, White's Chapel Worship
The More I Seek You, White's Chapel Worship
Better Is One Day, Matt Redman

The cool things about these songs is the common them they have, and the fact that God has placed them on my heart and I've been singing them recently. The first two are about our desperation and desire for God, when we are sinking in despair. The third expresses our desire for a clean and holy life for God, and the fourth is our realization that as we seek God, we will grow closer to Him. The fifth is our exultation and celebration of the hope of glory and righteousness that we will have for all eternity with the Father. He is all we desire and need. Hallelujah!!

Micah 7:7-9

But as for me, I will look to the LORD;
I will wait for the God of my salvation;
my God will hear me.

Rejoice not over me, O my enemy;
when I fall, I shall rise;
when I sit in darkness,
the LORD will be a light to me.

I will bear the indignation of the LORD
because I have sinned against him,
until he pleads my cause
and executes judgment for me.

He will bring me out to the light;
I shall look upon his vindication.

Je veux que tu comprennes

Je vois le trouble dans ta vie,
Je veux que tu t’en sortes,
Je suis franchement ton ami,
Alors voici la porte :

Tu vis dans le noir ;
La lumière t’est inconnu.
J’veux être un miroir,
Mais je suis bien trop ému.

Mon coeur est brisé,
Mon corps est blessé,
Parce que je veux q’tu comprennes.

Ma bouche reste fermée,
Mes mots se retrouve cachés,
Et pourtant, j’veux q’tu comprennes.

Je ne sais pas comment réagir ;
J’arrive pas à t’en parler,
Mais je ne veux pas te voir mourir ;
Je ne peux pas te laisser.

Jésus est mort pour toi ,
Pour que tu puisses avoir la vie.
J’veux partager ma foi,
Et que tu cèdes au Saint Esprit.

Son coeur était brisé,
Son corps était blessé,
J’veux q’tu comprennes.

Ma bouche est grande ouverte,
Mes mots n’ont plus de couvercle,
C’est sûr q’je veux q’tu comprennes.

-Andrew Jones
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=7862694838&ref=mf

Pain

Pain--has an Element of Blank--
It cannot recollect
When it begun--or if there were
A time when it was not--

It has no Future--but itself--
Its Infinite contain
Its Past--enlightened to perceive
New Periods--of Pain.

Emily Dickinson

In Search of the Perfect Mug

Yeah, so I really need a new coffee mug/thermus/tumbler thingy. The only problem is, I'm kind of picky, apparently, or else it wouldn't be so hard to find one. It has to meet four qualifications:

1)It's not girly looking.
2)It is microwavable (for my instant coffee)
3)It's dishwasher safe (that's just how I roll)
4)It has a handle (or else, I WILL drop my coffee, all over myself, and then sue McDonald's for the fun of it)

So, if you see the Perfect Mug, let a brotha know!

Mon Interview!

Aujourd’hui j’ai eu une interview chez Mercer University School of Medicine. Elle a commencé à dix heures et a duré jusqu’à quinze heures ! J’avais très peur en préparant pour l’interview. Mais, pourquoi ? Ça ne m’a pas aidé ! Quand c’était l’heure pour l’interview, j’ai trouvé que j’étais calme. Il n’y avait aucune raison de s’inquiéter !

Quand je suis arrivé à l’école, je me suis assis avec les autres étudiants qui y étaient pour une interview aussi. Quand tout est arrivé (il y avait quatre personnes), le doyen des étudiants est venu pour nous parler de Mercer. Puis, une dame du bureau de la finance nous a dit comment financer nos études. Ensuite, nous sommes allés à l’hôpital pour manger le déjeuner avec des étudiants qui sont dans leur quatrième année.

Après le déjeuner, j’ai eu ma première interview avec Dr. Moon, un vieil homme étrange ! Il a parlé lentement et m’a demandé des questions curieuses, comme « Quelle est la différence entre un plombier et un médecin » ? Aussi, il m’a gardé pendant longtemps et j’ai été en retard pour ma prochaine interview ! Mais, ma deuxième interview, c’était meilleure. L’interviewer était une jeune étudiante de médecine avec qui j’ai des similarités. Comme moi, elle veut devenir missionnaire médicale ! J’étais ravi et donc je pense que l’interview était réussie. Mais maintenant est la partie la plus difficile, c'est-à-dire : attendant. Il sera deux semaines avant que je saurai si je suis admis. C’est la torture, ceci !

Moe Hope

How do you convey to someone what it means to hope? To hope in God? To know, and trust, and rely on Him? It can be very challenging to break through to someone who's heart is so hardened by hopelessness, despair, and suffering.

Moe is a guy some friends and I met under a bridge last Fall. He was drunk when we talked to him, but still somewhat coherent. You see, he struggles with alcoholism, but he only does it to drown away his troubles. That's what he told us, anyway, once we had offered him some food and broken the ice a little bit. He served two tours in Vietnam, saw things I could never imagine, made choices I could never make. He'd been to Hell and back, as he put it. Later on, he lost his wife and daughter, the only family that he had. That's when the real struggle with alcoholism began. He is qualified as a painter, and had plenty of work, but you can imagine how downward spiral unfolded until he found himself under a bridge.

We tried to tell him about God, how He cares for him more than he realizes, how He loves him, how He longs for Moe to know Him intimately. How he can have hope in God. It didn't appear that he believed a word of it. "How can God allow this? How can God allow my daughter to die? How could He allow me to live like this?" I struggled myself. What did I know? I have know idea what it means to suffer, to have my family and friends and job taken away from me, to have to daily look for shelter and sustenance. How could I, a pampered, well-fed, loved person blessed beyond comprehension possibly know what it meant to struggle with these things? Would I have hope if I were in his shoes?

It was a struggle indeed. Did I believe in God's Sovereignty? That He is in control, and knows all, and works through everything that happens to us? We tried to explain the Sovereignty of God to Moe, but once again, he just couldn't grasp it. Later that day when we left, we were all pretty down. We felt like we hadn't gotten through to him, hadn't conveyed that wonderful hope we have in Christ through His righteousness.

And then before we knew it, it was time to go home for Christmas. We all went back to our comfortable homes with our comfortable families eating our comfortable food and sleeping in our comfortable beds. After having come back to school, though, we went out to find our friends again. Luckily, we found a dear friend our our's, Regina, who gave us some information about Moe that gave us great hope.

She said that Moe had been asking about us over the break, wondering where his "little friends" were. She told us that it meant an incredibly lot to him, more than we know, that we met him and talked with him. She said that he felt that we really cared for him, that we really loved him. Well, I was just blown away by this, and immediately started to both praise God for His sovereignty and to repent for my doubts.

The sad news, however, was that Moe was now in the hopital. So, she told us the room number and we went yesterday to go and see him. It took him a second to realize who we were, but he was really overjoyed to see us. He had stepped on a nail a few months ago, but waited to long to go to the hospital, and it had been giving him problems ever since. Sadly, because of infections and gangreen, I suppose, they are going to have to amputate three of his toes. We brought him flowers, a card, and a candy bar (which really made him happy!). The most amazing part though was our conversation with him. One person with told him that "as horrible as this may sound Moe, and as bad as things seem right now with you in the hospital, I hope you can see how God is working through this. I believe that God may have allowed this to happen so that you could get off the streets, break free from alcoholism, and get your life back together." I completely agreed. The hospital staff had given him some numbers to call and resources where he could get clothes, food, housing, help with bills, etc. We were all so excited about this, about the turn of events, how we could see God moving. We tried to instill in Moe a sense of hope, and I think he is beginning to see it.

"And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you."
1 Peter 5:10

I Run-Forty Days

We sang this at Overflow, and it was flippin awesome, but I can't find it on iTunes. Alas, iTunes, you have let me down...
--------------
I've never had a day like this,
when things become so clear & I can feel you here

I've never had to pray like this;
it's all that I can do to see me through the fear

But when my faith begins to fail me,
and I can't find my way

I run, I fall into the arms of my Father,
into a Love like no other

I walk, I crawl; it doesn't matter how I get here only that I can be here at all

All that seems to cloud my mind,
is how can be I strong, and how do I move on

But I know You will never fail me,
You will be my way

(CHORUS)

I will call upon You,
Lord You are worthy to be praised, so shall I be saved

Check this out.

This is a really cool post about the adulterous woman:

http://www.desiringgod.org/AboutUs/MonthlyNewsletter/2008_01/

You Are Loved-Hope's Call

Have you ever felt the Father’s love
As He holds you in His arms
When you start to say I’m sorry
He says you’ve done nothing wrong
Have you failed to meet the standards that you thought you should attain
Only to hear Him call your name, saying

Chorus:
You are loved beyond your failures
You are loved beyond your past
The hope that you’ve imagined
Is now reality at last
You are loved with no conditions
You are loved with no remorse
The scars of your forgiveness
Are engraved upon the Lord
You are loved

Have you seen your life be torn apart
By things you could not help
Until you finally reach the point
Where you could only blame yourself
Have you laid your head to sleep
And think you’ll always be alone
Then waken to His voice calling you home,
He says

Chorus repeat