How do you convey to someone what it means to hope? To hope in God? To know, and trust, and rely on Him? It can be very challenging to break through to someone who's heart is so hardened by hopelessness, despair, and suffering.
Moe is a guy some friends and I met under a bridge last Fall. He was drunk when we talked to him, but still somewhat coherent. You see, he struggles with alcoholism, but he only does it to drown away his troubles. That's what he told us, anyway, once we had offered him some food and broken the ice a little bit. He served two tours in Vietnam, saw things I could never imagine, made choices I could never make. He'd been to Hell and back, as he put it. Later on, he lost his wife and daughter, the only family that he had. That's when the real struggle with alcoholism began. He is qualified as a painter, and had plenty of work, but you can imagine how downward spiral unfolded until he found himself under a bridge.
We tried to tell him about God, how He cares for him more than he realizes, how He loves him, how He longs for Moe to know Him intimately. How he can have hope in God. It didn't appear that he believed a word of it. "How can God allow this? How can God allow my daughter to die? How could He allow me to live like this?" I struggled myself. What did I know? I have know idea what it means to suffer, to have my family and friends and job taken away from me, to have to daily look for shelter and sustenance. How could I, a pampered, well-fed, loved person blessed beyond comprehension possibly know what it meant to struggle with these things? Would I have hope if I were in his shoes?
It was a struggle indeed. Did I believe in God's Sovereignty? That He is in control, and knows all, and works through everything that happens to us? We tried to explain the Sovereignty of God to Moe, but once again, he just couldn't grasp it. Later that day when we left, we were all pretty down. We felt like we hadn't gotten through to him, hadn't conveyed that wonderful hope we have in Christ through His righteousness.
And then before we knew it, it was time to go home for Christmas. We all went back to our comfortable homes with our comfortable families eating our comfortable food and sleeping in our comfortable beds. After having come back to school, though, we went out to find our friends again. Luckily, we found a dear friend our our's, Regina, who gave us some information about Moe that gave us great hope.
She said that Moe had been asking about us over the break, wondering where his "little friends" were. She told us that it meant an incredibly lot to him, more than we know, that we met him and talked with him. She said that he felt that we really cared for him, that we really loved him. Well, I was just blown away by this, and immediately started to both praise God for His sovereignty and to repent for my doubts.
The sad news, however, was that Moe was now in the hopital. So, she told us the room number and we went yesterday to go and see him. It took him a second to realize who we were, but he was really overjoyed to see us. He had stepped on a nail a few months ago, but waited to long to go to the hospital, and it had been giving him problems ever since. Sadly, because of infections and gangreen, I suppose, they are going to have to amputate three of his toes. We brought him flowers, a card, and a candy bar (which really made him happy!). The most amazing part though was our conversation with him. One person with told him that "as horrible as this may sound Moe, and as bad as things seem right now with you in the hospital, I hope you can see how God is working through this. I believe that God may have allowed this to happen so that you could get off the streets, break free from alcoholism, and get your life back together." I completely agreed. The hospital staff had given him some numbers to call and resources where he could get clothes, food, housing, help with bills, etc. We were all so excited about this, about the turn of events, how we could see God moving. We tried to instill in Moe a sense of hope, and I think he is beginning to see it.
"And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you."
1 Peter 5:10
