ahhhhhhhh

Here's why I'm ahhhhhhhhhhing....I have a ton of stuff to do this week. Yes, I acknowledge that this is nothing but a post of me complaining, but I just wanted to get it all out. Plus, writing this out will help me remember what I've got to do.

Sunday
Meet SCP group to go make group presentation
Work on all the following stuff that's due this week..

Monday
SCP response paper due (and I have no idea what I'm going to write it on)
Presentation to Habitat for Humanity Board of Directors
French response paper due about a movie we watched last week

Tuesday
Judge Alex II science fair projects
Micro lab notebooks due (all 13,000 write ups, that is)

Wednesday
French presentation, that she just told us about Friday

Thursday
Micro unknown paper due

Friday
10 page research paper due about how healthcare inequalities affect the homeless-nope, haven't started it yet

So, yeah, this week's gonna be CRAZY

When I Don't Desire God by John Piper

"How sweet all at once it was for me to be rid of those fruitless joys which I had once feared to lose . . . ! You drove them from me, you who are the true, the sovereign joy. You drove them from me and took their place, you who are sweeter than all pleasure, though not to flesh and blood, you who outshine all light, yet are hidden deeper than any secret in our hearts, you who surpass all honor, though not in the eyes of men who see all honor in themselves. . . O Lord my God, my Light, my Wealth, and my Salvation."

-Augustine, Confessions, 181 (IX.1)

Pour L'amour du café

I haven't posted in a while so here's what's up...I'm currently sitting in Java City sipping on some coffee, which I love. Mmm, yes, coffee is my addiction. I've been hooked since the beginning though, ever since my Grannie would make me coffee as a tot.

Anyway, I'm just chillin, studying for a Microbiology test. Other than that, not too much going on. I also have a French Test on Wednesday, and it's going to be completely oral, so that's kinda scary...

So, church was pretty much awesome today. It was something that I really needed to hear. The power of Christ's resurrection, and the freedom that comes through that. I know that's pretty basic, but it was so refreshing to hear it again.

Well, I suppose that's about it for now.

sometimes i like to write down words as they come into my head...

green
close
water
coffee
sleep
God
future
supper
ham
mccorkle
bible
homework
phone
highlighter
soccer
clouds
mama
expedition
camping
africa
missions
french
micro report......which i really need to work on

quite random, and perhaps stereotypical

I would just like to make the general statement that girls are extremely confusing/misleading, and they shouldn't be...

East to West

Here I am, Lord, and I'm drowning in your sea of forgetfulness
The chains of yesterday surround me
I yearn for peace and rest
I don't want to end up where You found me
And it echoes in my mind, keeps me awake tonight
I know You've cast my sin as far as the east is from the west
And I stand before You now as though I've never sinned
But today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way

Jesus, can You show me just how far the east is from the west
'cause I can't bear to see the man I've been come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
'cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other

I start the day, the war begins, endless reminding of my sin
Time and time again Your truth is drowned out by the storm I'm in
Today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way

I know You've washed me white, turned my darkness into light
I need Your peace to get me through, to get me through this night
I can't live by what I feel, but by the truth Your word reveals
I'm not holding on to You, but You're holding on to me
You're holding on to me

Jesus, You know just how far the east is from the west
I don't have to see the man I've been come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
'cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other
One scarred hand to the other
From one scarred hand to the other

Half Century Club

So tonight I had to work an event for the Mercer Ambassadors. It's called the Half Century Club, and it's for alumni who graduated 50 or more years ago. My duty was to ride the trolley back and forth from the Hilton Garden Inn with the old people (sorry, but they were kinda old). It was pretty neat and I was tripping out on some of the stories they were telling me. About how girls had to wear raincoats when walking to the gym, even if it wasn't raining, because they couldn't show anything above their ankles. About how chapel in those days was required. About the pranks they used to pull on themselves and on Wesleyan. And then I got to eat with them, and it was actually pretty good. I mean, it was still catered by Aramark, but at least they used seasoning and fully cooked the vegetables.

Let's see, what else. Oh, I was on TV Wednesday! Yeah, it was quite exciting. A cameraman from the local NBC station was out there when we had See You At The Pole. You can watch the ghettofied version on facebook.

I'm kinda home alone this weekend and it makes me sad. Most of my roomies left me :( No, it's ok though because I'm still gonna hang out with some peeps. Tomorrow a bunch of us are going out to eat a an Indian restaurant here in town, so I'm excited about that because I've never had Indian food before.

Besides that I plan on getting a lot of work done. I have a French test Monday that I've got to study for. Also, I need to write my senior capstone paper, read for microbiology, come up with some survey questions, do my laundry, go to the grocery store, fill out med school applications, and do my graduation application...hmmm I hope I can fit that all in. I tend to have the habit of planning too many things in too little time.

So, I'm definitely studying now in the UC and I'm bored out of my mind, which is why I'm blogging and facebooking. Peace...

More Than A Friend

In the quiet of my soul
In the stillness I hear Your voice call
And I am overwhelmed
And I am lost for words
To describe You

Jesus You're more than a friend
Jesus You're more than my heart could ever express
Your love and Your grace never fail me
Your merciful touch always heals me
You bring joy to my soul

My heart longs to worship You my King
And I long to bring You a pleasing offering
And I am overwhelmed
And I am lost for words
To describe You

Crowded Lonliness

Is there such a thing? I don't know, but there must be, because that's how I feel, yet I don't really know what I feel. Is that confusing? I know, I'm confused myself.

the need to escape

im finding the need to escape from myself
to run to hide to get out of this shell
absolutely anything to escape from this hell

i try to fight it each and every day
but in the end it seems theres no way
to escape from this sin that comes from within

ive hit a wall i feel completely penned
and i ask myself is this the end
what can i do how can i win

------------

So...that seems dark, eh? I started writing that a long time ago, when I wasn't feeling too great. I haven't finished it yet, but don't worry, it will get better!

The Purpose of Satan

This is something that God taught me while reading Revelation. First, here's the passage:

"7Now war arose in heaven, Michael and his angels fighting against the dragon. And the dragon and his angels fought back, 8but he was defeated, and there was no longer any place for them in heaven. 9And the great dragon was thrown down, that ancient serpent, who is called the devil and Satan, the deceiver of the whole world— he was thrown down to the earth, and his angels were thrown down with him. 10And I heard a loud voice in heaven, saying, "Now the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of his Christ have come, for the accuser of our brothers has been thrown down, who accuses them day and night before our God. 11And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death." (Revelation 12, ESV)

Well, this is a cool passage because it gives us the background info on Satan. In Genesis, we don't know exactly how he came about, except that he tempted Eve, which therefore led to the fall of man. But, I've always kind of wondered, why do we even have Satan? Wouldn't things be much simpler if he weren't here at all? Think about it, no sin, no death, eternal life for all. But then, as I was reading, I got to verse 10, and I was like, wowwwwwww. Did you catch it, did you have the wow moment? Read it again. Again, until it makes sense. It's all about the sovereignty of God. If Satan had not been cast out of heaven, there would indeed be no sin, at least not through him anyway. No sin, so no need for salvation, no need for a Savior, no need of Christ. It is because of Satan, because of sin that the God who created the universe and us came to this earth to live among us, to die for us out of love and obedience, so that we could have righteousness and eternal life through faith in him.

But then, you still get back to the question, why have sin though? And then I realized, it all boils down to love, to choice. What does love and choice have to do with each other? Everything! God could have easily created sin-proof robots that would never sin against him. But, that takes the choice out of it, and there is no love if there is no freedom of choice. God gave us the gift of choice so that we could choose to love him, he doesn't force us to love him. That is true love, that we choose to love him. And thus, we have the choice to sin, the choice to love, the choice to be his child. And so, to bring sin into the world, and therefore choice, we had to have that "serpent of old, called the Devil and Satan (NKJV)," which thus resultingly paved the way for Christ, for salvation, and for the kingdom of God.

The sovereignty of God is so incredible, it really blows my mind!

Isaiah 52:13-15---53

13 See, my servant will act wisely;
he will be raised and lifted up and highly exalted.

14 Just as there were many who were appalled at him—
his appearance was so disfigured beyond that of any man
and his form marred beyond human likeness—

15 so will he sprinkle many nations,
and kings will shut their mouths because of him.
For what they were not told, they will see,
and what they have not heard, they will understand.

Isaiah 53

1 Who has believed our message
and to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?

2 He grew up before him like a tender shoot,
and like a root out of dry ground.
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.

3 He was despised and rejected by men,
a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.
Like one from whom men hide their faces
he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

4 Surely he took up our infirmities
and carried our sorrows,
yet we considered him stricken by God,
smitten by him, and afflicted.

5 But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed.

6 We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned to his own way;
and the LORD has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.

7 He was oppressed and afflicted,
yet he did not open his mouth;
he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,
and as a sheep before her shearers is silent,
so he did not open his mouth.

8 By oppression and judgment he was taken away.
And who can speak of his descendants?
For he was cut off from the land of the living;
for the transgression of my people he was stricken.

9 He was assigned a grave with the wicked,
and with the rich in his death,
though he had done no violence,
nor was any deceit in his mouth.

10 Yet it was the LORD's will to crush him and cause him to suffer,
and though the LORD makes his life a guilt offering,
he will see his offspring and prolong his days,
and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand.

11 After the suffering of his soul,
he will see the light of life and be satisfied ;
by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many,
and he will bear their iniquities.

12 Therefore I will give him a portion among the great,
and he will divide the spoils with the strong,
because he poured out his life unto death,
and was numbered with the transgressors.
For he bore the sin of many,
and made intercession for the transgressors.

Goodbye, Mr. iPod

So, my iPod shuffle just died. Or rather, I murdered it. I was getting it out of my sister's car and just as I was closing the door, it slipped out of my hand and got closed into the door. It didn't break, but kinda got bent in half. I tried turning it on to see if it would work, and nothing. I've had it for exactly two years, got it on my birthday! But, alas, it has played its last song. You will be missed, my friend. Sad face.

The Lone Summer Post

Yeah, so I haven't posted all summer. Big deal! J/k. Anyway, here's a few random, bulleted points of what I've been doing.

-Ok, first of all, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is only three days away, and I'm like about to die. I am anxiously awaiting the seventh and final book of the HP series. So who's it gonna be...Harry or Voldemort? My prediction: Harry's going to live of course! You can't end a series like that with evil triumphing!

-Besides that, what have I been doing? Well, I started shadowing an ER doc at a hospital, because that's what I wanna be. Let me tell you, it's been pretty spiffy. I'm attracted to the ER because of it being so unpredictable.

-Well, before I can be a doctor, I have to devote four years of my life to med school, and admission to that requires taking the MCAT. So, yeah, I studied up for that the first half of my summer and took it June 15th. I'm supposed to be getting my score in like 24 hours so I'm kinda nervous about that...

-And, to bring us up to date to today, God taught me something really cool this morning. He taught me..........the gospel. You might think, "Matthew, you're a Christian, you should know what the gospel is..." Well, I did, and I do, but God really made a connection with me today that made me understand it so much better. Everytime I used to hear the word gospel, I would think about the four Gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, and what they contained, the teachings of Christ. Well, I was reading today in Galatians 3 and God shed light on something that I'm sure for most people is obvious, but for me it really was a revelation. In this passage, Paul is admonishing the Galatians for so quickly forgetting their new relationship and freedom in Christ and exchanging it for bondage through the law. Paul brings up the OT patriarch Abraham to make his point (v. 5-9). He explains that Abraham was counted righteous not by works but by his unwavering faith in God. And then it's so cool because Paul says that because of this, the Scripture foresees how the Gentiles would be justified and saved--through faith in God. So many times in the NT the people are told to not forget the gospel they were taught, to not turn to any other teachings, and at the beginning of this letter Paul says the same thing. And today we muddy things up so much, saying you've got to do this, got to be like this, got to give up this, and got to act like this to be saved, to be a Christian. But that is NOT the gospel. The gospel was revealed long ago to Abraham, and is still the same today. We are justified by faith (that's it) in Jesus Christ, are sealed with His Spirit, and are imputed with His righteousness (Galatians 3:5-9, Habakkuk 2:4, Ephesians 1:13-14, Romans 4:22-25).

O for the P

The Preferential Option for the Poor and Vulnerable
Positive signs in the contemporary world are the growing awareness of the solidarity of the poor among themselves, their efforts to support one another, and their public demonstrations on the social scene which, without recourse to violence, present their own needs and rights in the face of the inefficiency or corruption of public authorities. By virtue of her own evangelical duty the Church feels called to take her stand beside the poor, to discern the justice of their requests, and to help satisfy them, without losing sight of the good of groups in the context of the common good. (Sollicitudo Rei Socialis, para. 39)

As followers of Christ, we are challenged to make a preferential option for the poor, namely, to create conditions for marginalized voices to be heard, to defend the defenseless, and to assess lifestyles, policies and social institutions in terms of their impact on the poor. The option for the poor does not mean pitting one group against another, but rather, it calls us to strengthen the whole community by assisting those who are most vulnerable.

From the Scriptures we learn that the justice of a society is tested and judged by its treatment of the poor. God’s covenant with Israel was dependant on the way the community treated the poor and unprotected—the widow, the orphan and the stranger (Deut. 16.11-12, Ex. 22.21-27, Isa. 1.16-17). Throughout Israel’s history and in the New Testament, the poor are agents of God’s transforming power. In the gospel of Luke, Jesus proclaims that he has been anointed to bring good news to the poor (4.1-22). Similarly, in the Last Judgment, we are told that we will be judged according to how we respond to the hungry, the thirsty, the prisoner and the stranger (Matthew 25.31-46).

Therefore, the preferential option for the poor is not optional. Each Christian must make a choice to lift up the poor and disadvantaged in very real and concrete ways. Preferential option for the poor means that Christians are called to look at the world from the perspective of the marginalized and to work in solidarity for justice.

Student Reflection:
The option for the poor asks everyone to realize the plight of those who struggle to survive, and to put the needs of these most vulnerable members of society ahead of individual selfish interests…We can never stop questioning an oppressive system that forces billions of our brothers and sisters in our country and around the world to live in poverty. We need to ask “why?” Why are people starving around the world? How can the United States, the richest nation in the world, allow its people to live in poverty, to be homeless in the “land of opportunity,” to lack good education and adequate health care and to starve to death?…What occurs in the United States and throughout the world that allows so many to have so little when so few have so much? As one of the elite—the fed, the clothed, the sheltered, the educated—what are my responsibilities as I step out into this unjust world society and try to make my way?-- Christine Raslavsky, Seminar on Poverty and Development in Chile, 1995.

Questions for discussion/reflection:
1. The Bishop’s Pastoral on the U.S. Economy states, “Followers of Christ must avoid a tragic separation between faith and everyday life…economic life is one of the chief areas where we live out our faith [and] love our neighbor.” In what ways ought we manage our economic resources as faithful Christians? In what ways are you conscious of those who are economically poor or disadvantaged?
2. What are some very concrete ways that you can make a preferential option for the poor?
3. Are we collectively responsible for the conditions of poverty both locally and globally? What can you do both directly and indirectly to work for change?

http://centerforsocialconcerns.nd.edu/mission/cst/cst4.shtml

Psalm 73

21 When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,

22 I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.

23 Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.

24 You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.

25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

27 Those who are far from you will perish;
you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.

28 But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge;
I will tell of all your deeds.

A Great Summer...

Yeah, I'm excited...

None But Jesus-Hillsong United

In the quiet, in the stillness
I know that You are God
In the secret of Your presence
I know there I am restored

When You call I won’t refuse
Each new day again I’ll choose

There is no one else for me
None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring Him praise

In the chaos, in confusion
I know You’re Sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness
You give me grace to do Your will

When You call I won’t delay
This my song through all my days

All my delight is in You Lord
All of my hope, all of my strength
All my delight is in You Lord Forevermore

Photography, Vocabulary, and the Lottery

What do those three things have in common? Well, nothing actually. But those three things are the topic of this post! So today is Thursday, the day before Good Friday, which we have off from school. In other words, everyone is going home today...except me, of course. See, I have a Ballroom Dancing class TONIGHT that was NOT canceled at 7 pm. "Why don't you skip?" you may ask yourself. Well, it's a pass/fail class, and you if you miss more than three classes you fail. Unfortunately, I've already missed three.

I say all that to make the point that I am still here and therefore have had a lot of free time today since my only class got over at like 11:15. So, I decided I would go to my favorite park in town and just chill! It's quite a popular park, with its landscaping, greenery, and waterfall. Thus, you'll often see people there taking pictures. Well, I didn't think that it being so near to Easter, that people would be there in their pretty little 'Easter outfits.' While I was there, there were two different moms there with their respective children. And I think I learned a life lesson: Never photograph your on kids. Just don't do it. I mean, you know the moms were asking for it, just having the kids all dressed up. And besides, what do kids want to do in a nice big open green space? Play, run around, goof off, etc. Not take pictures. I found it quite hilarious, and a few times downright disturbing, as the mom would yell at her kids to get their attention. "Nate! Nate! Look at me honey. Blu blu blu blu blu (strange high-pitched sound remenicient of a chicken)! Nate! NAAAAAATTTEEE!" I mean, really, is that necessary. What kid wants to listen to mommy tell them how to sit and where to look when the sun is out, the grass is soft, and there's a nice breeze?

Ok, now to vocabulary. So, while trying not to be distracted in the park, I did what I came to do-read. I actually started reading a book that was NOT required for class. Those are the best kind! It's Mountains Beyond Mountains by Tracy Kidder. He's a journalist who became friends with a doctor named Paul Farmer who does tons of volunteer work in Haiti and elsewhere in the world. I just started the book today, so this won't be a review. Rather, in only reading a few pages, I learned some cool new vocabulary:

haranguing: (noun) a scolding or a long or intense verbal attack; diatribe
ebullience: (noun) high spirits; exhilaration; exuberance

And now to the last topic, the lottery. So at Mercer we have a lottery system to determine housing assignments for next year. Some of my good friends who are living together got pretty shafted. Seriously, their numbers were like 456, 475, 476, 460...out of like 500 or so, which means that's their position in line to get their desired housing. AKA, they likely won't get their desired housing. Not cool. They're pretty upset, and I would be too. Seniors get the low end it seems.

Well that's all for now. I'm out like a skanky trout.

Crazy Elephants

So, here's some chemistry humor for you. I find it extremly humorous anyway. In my chemistry book, it always has like charts or pictures in the margins of the pages to describe things or concepts. Well, there is a random picture of an elephant with this comment:

"An elephant, decidedly unimpressed by the fact that it uses the same molecule as a mating pheremone as do several species of moths."

I mean, are you kidding me? How do you know an elephant is "decidedly unimpressed"? Even if you could ask an elephant how it feels, do you really think it would describe itself that way? It's just funny to me because it's just so completely random and out of place...

Huh?

Ok, here's something I really don't understand. I hear about this stuff all the time, and today I got a foward, so I'll let you read it, then I'll make my comments...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Rules for the phone.

How ALL business phones SHOULD be answered!

GOOD MORNING, WELCOME TO THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

Press "1" for English.


Press "2" to disconnect until you learn to speak English


And remember only two defining forces have ever
offered to die for you,

Jesus Christ

and the American Soldier.


One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.

If you agree......keep it going

----------

What's the big deal with the "English only" sentiment? Did you know that the United States of America has NO OFFICIAL LANGUAGE? That's right, check it out, do some research. And why should it? We had multicultural and multilingual beginnings, and still do today.

I have a big problem with equating the death of Jesus Christ, through which we receive forgiveness of sins and salvation, with the death of a soldier. No, No, No. You can talk about the two all you want, but please don't do it in the same context as if they are similar. I'm not being anti-American, I'm just being honest. Besides, the Christian should consider whether it is even Biblical to go to war and kill others. Sure, there were plenty of battles and wars in the Old Testament, but the New Testament stresses love and forgiveness for all, especially enemies.

I just have all sorts of problems with this type of sentiment. It seems to put speaking English, being Christian, and fighting wars on a level playing field. What happened to loving and accepting all?

"But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven" [Matthew 5:44-45a]

"The most important is, 'Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these." [Mark 12:29-31]

"There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." [Galatians 3:28]

About the URL

Ephesians 3:19 is my life verse. My goal in life. My goal as a Christian. A goal which, I think, encompasses pretty well what Christianity is about.

"For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith--that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. [Epheisans 3:14-19]

"To know the love of Christ." Wow. How could I ever even begin to comprehend that? God Himself dying a horrible death on a cross for me? How could I ever grasp the reasons for the God of the universe humbly coming to earth to save an unworthy sinner like me? I think to know and experience this love is quite an amazing concept. Knowing the love implies so many other things.

1. By nature of knowing and accepting Christ's love, I am a part of it, which means I am His child, eternally His.
   
   "Whoever loves has been born of God and knows God" [1 John 4:7b]
   "By [love] we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit." [1 John 4:13]
   
   
   
2. By loving God and Him loving me, how could I not unconditionally love others?
   
   "Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another." [1 John 4:11]
   "If anyone says, "I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother." [1 John 4:20-21]
   
   
3. Because of God's love, I can be confident in Him and His promises. Having fear shows that I am not steadfast in my walk with God, that my faith is wavering, and that I am not constantly surrendering my all to Him. I must remember that in those time of fear, that those feelings are not from God, but from Satan.
   
   "By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love." [1 John 4:17-18]
   
   
4. I can never fully "know" the love of Christ! Though we are instructed to know and try to understand it, it is an impossible feat! Christ's love "surpasses knowledge." It is beyond comprehension. The point of knowing the love of Christ is to experience the love of Christ, though it is far too great to fully understand. But it changes our lives! Through this daily understanding and experiential application of Christ's love, we gradually become sanctified and more like God.
   

So, those are just a few reasons why Ephesians 3:19 means so much to me, though there are plenty more.

So, I made a blog...

...and it's entitled "ramblings," because it will probably be just that. But hopefully, amidst all the randomness, there will be some actual good stuff in here that keeps you interested. I warn you upfront, however, that I will not post regularly! My postings will be quite random--I may post everyday for a week and then not post again for a month. Hey, I'm a college kid and that's just how it is! I would like to give a huge thanks to all my (future) readers! Comments and discussion are appreciated.