The Ramblings of One M. Jones

2010-04-04T16:50:00.001-05:00

new blog. No longer using this one.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

2010-01-07T20:34:00.002-05:00

It's 2010! A new decade! My third, actually...whoa that's weird to think I'll be 30 in 2016... Anyway, getting ready to start back up in school. This is my last week of working for real full time (40 hours) versus minimum-full-time-where-I-still-get-benefits (30 hours), which I'll start next week. I have classes on Tuesday and Thursday, so I'll work MWF. So to get 30 hours, that means I'll be working 10 hour shifts...yuck. But hey, my car doesn't pay for itself. Gotta do what you gotta do.

Strangely, I'm excited to get back into classes. What can I say, I'm a stickler for learning. And I really love anatomy. The other class I'm taking is a doozie. Just an Intro to Computers that's required for a degree. Pretty lame actually. I've grown up on computers, PC and mac, taken tons of classes in high school, and know how to work pretty much every program. But alas, these are the things we do to get degrees. I guess it wouldn't really bother me if it weren't for the fact that I'm paying for it....so to pay $450 learning how to do things I already know how to do is a little absurd.

Hmm what else. Oh, I created a tumblr account to use as my photography blog! I hope to put some more work into it soon. Right now most of my pics are on my PC, and I just haven't had the time to get them transferred to my mac. There are a few things up now though. You can check it out here. I really like tumblr because it has a lot of functionality...I just wish you could add little boxes/widgets like with blogger, so I could have a "contact me" section, etc. Still trying to figure that out...

M JONES

Holiday Updates

2009-12-27T23:04:00.002-05:00

Yo peeps! Just wanted to post again, before I let another 5 months slip by! It's been nice having a break from school for the holidays. I've enjoyed being able to relax, not study, and spend time with family.

On Christmas eve we gathered at my mom's parents' house to celebrate and exchange gifts. 6 children + 9 grandchildren + 4 great-grandchildren make for a big family!! We also ate lunch there on Christmas, followed by supper at my dad's parents' with his family, which is quite smaller, but just as enjoyable.

Some notable gifts this year were some much needed clothes, a camera case to protect Nick, gift cards (hello iTunes!), and an "iGraduated Mercer" shirt which is incredibly cool and also kinda makes me sad thinking about the good times I had there.

I don't have any plans yet for New Year's Eve, but I'll likely go to my cousin's house for her birthday/new year's celebration (it's a yearly tradition). It's always a fun night with lots of finger foods, chatting, and games.

I swear it's getting better...that's my philosophy.

M JONES

STOP THE NAKEDNESS!

2009-12-18T22:13:00.002-05:00

This is an AWESOME organization that does some really good stuff...they design cool clothing and when you buy it they send another shirt to someone in need across the world. In fact the name of the country it goes to is printed on the tag of the shirt you receive. PLUS you get an additional shirt to give to someone you know that's in need. How awesome is this? And it creates perfect ministry opps for when people ask, "what does that mean on your shirt?" Love it love it love it.

Check them out at their website, or watch the video below.

www.stopthenakedness.com

2009-12-17T23:09:00.002-05:00

Been kinda sick for about a week. Guess what you'd call the "common cold." Meh. I don't like being common, and I don't like having a cold. Luckily though it hasn't progressed into anything worse....glad I got my flu shot! Whatever I have, I probably got it from all those sickly, germy kids at the pharmacy. I tell ya, we should have a face mask bouncer at the door before people are allowed in.

Anyway, not too much besides being sick this past week. Christmas is coming up and I'm trying to get everybody's gifts. Since last post, I managed to go to the mall again on a Wednesday, and the results were much better. In fact, all I have left to buy for are my mom and my brother-in-law.

This weekend I'm off work, but we're having a Christmas party at a co-worker's house. We're all bringing hors d'oeuvres and we'll be playing dirty Santa...you know where you swap gifts and then you can steal them from each other. Get your mind out of the gutter. Before that though I want to try (again) to exercise Nick...my neglected camera. We'll see.

Good night you princes of Maine, you kings of New England.

M. JONES

Rain Rain Go Away

2009-12-12T19:33:00.002-05:00

So, my big plans for the day were to go out taking pictures with my awesome camera Nick the Nikon (I know, very original). Well, that changes when I woke up and noticed is was raining...not just rain, but really really cold rain. It's different.

What were my alternate plans? Being lazy. But then I realized I have 0/10 Christmas gifts I have to buy, so decided to go to the mall and try to knock some of those out. Bad idea.

At about a 1 mile radius from the mall, the traffic was at a standstill. 10 minutes later, I finally made it to the mall parking lot, and it took another 10 mins to find a spot. Once inside, just walking around was a nightmare. Couldn't even move without touching somebody. The concept of personal space does not exist in the box monsters during the holidays. I needed some Xanax! Needless to say, I couldn't handle it and left about 30 minutes later. The day wasn't completely wasted though, I did get one gift and also ran into my cousin-in-law, so that was nice.

Tonight for supper we had grits, eggs, bacon, and rolls. Get excited. You know you love breakfast for supper. Just having it any other time besides the A.M. makes it exponentially better. Now to top it all off I'm about to watch X-Men: Origins while sippin' on some coffee. Yum.

The roof. The roof. The roof is on fire.

M. Jones

Changes

2009-12-07T22:34:00.002-05:00

Um, yeah...so it's been like 5 months since I last updated! Ha, guess I'm not much of a blogger. I'll try to fix that...

To be honest, I kinda felt like my blog had no purpose, no direction, no set path. Just a bunch of rambling. But then I realized, hey that's the title! So I guess it's ok. Maybe.

So what have I been doing the last half-year? Good question. It seems my life has been nothing but a lot of changes lately. (As I'm sure anyone would also say for oneself) I'm still working full time, but on top of that I'm also taking classes at ABAC half-time. After working hard in undergrad, taking pre-med classes, studying my butt off, taking the MCAT, spending tons of money on said test and applications, interviewing at a couple schools and being waitlisted only to find out I didn't get into med school...I kinda got burned out. Then I decided, hey let's do nursing. So that's where I am, and to be honest, I feel really good about it, at peace.

Anyway, before I can start the actual nursing program I have to do a few prereqs I didn't take at undergrad. So this semester I've had Anatomy and Physiology and Nursing Pharmacology. In fact I'm in the middle of finals now. So far I've already taken the A&P lab final and pharm final, and I have A's in both of those. All that's left is A&P lecture, which is on Wednesday.

Next Spring I'll take A&P II and a random intro to computers class. And then I can start the nursing program in the Fall! It takes 4 semesters, so I should graduate Spring '12. Whoa that looks weird...makes me think of 1912 haha.

Speaking of history, on this day in 1941, Japan attacked Pearl Harbor. "I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve." -Japanese admiral Isoroku Yamamoto That you did Iso, that you did...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAITLIN

2009-07-29T07:57:00.001-05:00

pimp myspace

Stress, Stress, Stress

2009-07-09T19:59:00.002-05:00

Uhh. Just need to vent. Here's what's making me stressed out at the moment.

-Registration. Blah. Registering for classes always makes me stressed in general, but this time even more so. The ONE class I need, and HAVE to take now so I can start the nursing program on time, Anatamy and Physiology, is closed. All 10 sections. Every one. And it's not like I've been a slacker and just now decided to register. I did as soon as I could. Um, problem.

-Credtis. Speaking of classes, ABAC tranfered a lot of my credit from Mercer. Everything was pretty much ok, but they're trying to jip me on some stuff. They transferred my Intro to Bio classes as some lower-level credits at ABAC. Excuse me, and no offense, but I think my Bio credits at a prestigious 4-year university is at least equivalant and probably trumps the Bio at a 2-year community college. Just saying. Oh, and they also won't give me credit for the 300 level art class I took to take the place of their 100 level art class required. Logical? No. Anyway, I'll be meeting with the Registrar soon to sort this all out.

-Bills. So, all of a sudden these bill collectors started calling me saying I was delinquent on my student loan payments. At first I thought they maybe had the wrong number, because I always make my payments. Turns out, they applied both of my two loan payments to only one loan instead of two separate payments for the different loans, therefore putting one of my loans in delinquent status. Not cool. Now I have bill collectors calling me, and my credit's probably going to get screwed. And they STILL HAVEN'T GOT IT FIXED. Honestly, is this how you treat people who actually pay bills on time?!?

Eschewing all Grace

2009-06-30T21:22:00.002-05:00

I'm going to write a book (ok, maybe just an essay) one day with that being the title. It will be about my views of God and relationship with him (or non-relationship) growing up, before a very climactic change in college.

Ha, that's all I really have to say....just wanted to write that down before I forgot it!

And yeah, I really love this pic...would be a great book cover.

the nature of grace

2009-06-23T22:39:00.002-05:00

This is something I've been struggling with a lot lately. How do you reconcile grace/freedom with discipline/conviction/guilt? I really don't know the answer, and I haven't talked to someone who does. I think a lot of it has to do with my legalistic upbringing, always doing things "right."

Sometimes I just hate myself because I feel like a failure at Christianity. I try to make myself be good, go through the motions, thinking it's better to try than not. In the end though I'm left with guilt and feeling very dehumanizing.

So, I decided to try something.

I stopped reading my Bible. I got to a point where I was reading it regularly, but when occaisionally fogot/didn't have time/didn't want to, I felt super bad. Also, I was so legalistic about it. For me, reading the Bible is like studying for an exam. I have to extract everything from it that I can and memorize everything. Not much room for the Holy Spirit to work...I felt like I shouldn't be imprisonating myself in something as good and holy as God's word. It's not that I don't want to read it, because I still do sometimes, or that I don't want to learn from it.

I just feel like I have so many old, legalistic habits to un-do before I can truly live free.

But where does that leave me? Aren't I supposed to feel convicted when I sin? And when/where/how does grace fit in? I know, these are deep questions.

English only, Please

2009-06-02T21:15:00.003-05:00

Yeah, so got this in an email. Talking about how we should "stick it" to America. This should especially be worn in places of business where people of minor ethnicities work, such as McDonalds, Wal-Mart, different pharmacies, and tons of other places. The ending thought of the message was, "Let's flood the USA with this one!!"

I could be wrong about this, but I'm pretty sure that in all those years of US history I had, they talked about how America was formed as a refuge for people of all backgrounds. Yes, even people who weren't from Britain, which means they didn't speak English.

Now, don't get me wrong--I'm completely aware that English is the official language of the US. But this sentiment is clearly directed to Spanish-speaking people. We speak volumes by having this mindset. We say, "I'm better than you," "My country is better than your's," "I don't want you to be here," "Learn it or get out," "I want nothing to do with you." Which is completely at odds with what our country represents: freedom, opportunity, sanctuary, growth. Why would we want to deny someone that? By having this mindset, we loose the very values that the others are trying to attain! It makes no sense!

I wish I could speak Spanish, because it would help me greatly in explaing to a mother how often and how much medicine to give her child! Is that unamerican??

Time Out

2009-05-31T14:28:00.003-05:00

Ok, I'm ready to face something that I have been ignoring....maybe I'm NOT supposed to be a doctor. Maybe that's something I've considered deep down but haven't given it the time to play out what that means in my head. I'm still very passionate about healthcare and serving others, but I don't have to be a physician to do that. I kept telling myself, "but Matthew, you definitely felt the CALL!" But when I more closely examine said call, it doesn't necessarily lead to being a doctor.

I felt "called" while I was in Mississippi my first time doing disaster relief after Hurricane Katrina. While cleaning on site, I stepped on a nail, so to forego being infected by Tetanus, I went to a local, makeshift clinic downtown. The doctor checked out my foot, said I was ok, and sent me to another room to get the wound cleaned by a nurse. That's when I had my moment--I was so overwhelmed by the scene before me: These healthcare workers were giving up their time to volunteer in this free clinic (which had formerely been a train depot) to help any and everyone who had need. I knew without a doubt that was what I wanted to do.

But when I seriously look at my own qualities and skills, I'm not sure if I'm really cut out to be a doctor. Obviously, it takes a high degree of intelligence and critical thinking skills to be a good doctor. Being only compassionate and moderately smart won't cut it. So, when I'm honest with myself, the MCAT gives me a really hard time. My score isn't competitive enough, and studying for it again is a very daunting task for me. There comes a point when you have to realize that by rereading and reworking something doesn't mean you will eventually grasp it.

So...now what? Am I just doubting myself? Not trying hard enough? I just spent money on a really expensive online MCAT prep course, and signed up to retake the MCAT. Do I continue on and see what happens, even though I'm not sure this is the right direction, or just cut my losses?

And what are my alternatives? Like I said, I'm still drawn to healthcare and service. But since I'm in debt, I can't do something on a strictly volunteer basis. I could see myself in a variety of different options, such as working for WHO, the UN, or the Peace Corps. I'm also talented at organization, visonary, and implementation, so I could maybe do behind the scences stuff for others. Or maybe I could pursue a nursing career? There's always a need for them, and there's room for growth. Plus being a nurse would help me in pursuing those other international ventures (WHO, etc).

Maybe I just need to take a year off and not make any decisions? I tend to make uninformed decisions and then spent time doubting them (thus, this blog, lol).

Was it even real?

2009-05-27T21:51:00.004-05:00

My time at college was great. I was slow at opening up, but I eventually become vulnerable and created some incredible friendships. I studied hard, and became involved in a range of clubs and activities, even took on a few leaderships roles. I developed some life goals and started pursuing them. Through it all, I really felt like I knew what I wanted, who I wanted to be, what I wanted to be. I was focosued, happy, determined, carefree, confident, and......well, a completely different person than I had been prior to college. When I would visit home on the weekends or breaks, it was kinda strange because I felt like I had changed internally, like I wasn't the same person anymore but my family didn't realize it yet.

But now, after having graduated a year ago, it seems like the whole process is reversing itself, much to my dismay. I've applied twice to medical school, without success. I'm going to try one more time...but maybe it's not what I'm supposed to do? But why is it that everything I have done up to this point has led me to this? I really feel like it's my calling in life, so why doesn't it happen?

In the meantime, I've been working a full time job, but I don't really like it. I love some of the people I work with, but others not so much. I barely get more than minimum wage (college degree for what??) and everything I earn goes to bills and gas. Everything. And I have very little respect for the manager because he has yet to correct a billing error on my payroll, which he has known about for 6 months now. I just feel very underappreciated. How do they expect me to want to stay when the incentive is a .12 cent raise? Yeah, 12 CENTS. I just have to keep telling myself, "at least I have a job..."

Plus, since coming back from school it's hard not to feel a bit isolated. Living on campus, I was surrounded by friends and things to do. But back home, the friends base comes from high school, and well....you learn that you have very few close high school friends. And it can be hard to do stuff when people are getting married right and left, working full time jobs, or out of the country :/ (but luckily coming home sooooon!)

Sorry, just had to get all that out. On the bright side, hoping 3rd time's the charm, looking at better-paying jobs in my profession, and going on a roadtrip to New England with two best buds in a few weeks :)

This is pure genious...

2009-05-24T21:48:00.001-05:00

I Don't Want Health Care If Just Anyone Can Have It

(From the Onion News, http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/i_dont_want_health_care_if_just)

As a concerned citizen, I must voice my adamant disapproval of the "universal health care" proposals we've been hearing so much about. I don't have any gripes with expanding and improving health coverage, per se. It's the "universal" part that irks me. Providing health care for all would completely undermine the whole idea of health care. If every last one of the 40 million uninsured bozos in this country is going to get access to the vast, virtually unnavigable system of medical care we chosen few now enjoy, then I no longer even want it.

When hospital administrators see me flash my Blue Cross card, it means something. It tells the world, "Hey, look at me: I pay increasingly high monthly premiums, submit to annual exams, and claim any health-related expenditures over seven percent of my yearly income on my taxes, and you can't." But when this bill passes, they'll be handing out insurance cards willy-nilly, and nobody will be able to tell the difference between someone who's had health coverage for 20 years and someone whose boss was compelled by law to provide it to all full-time employees.

Then again, maybe they'll offer some sort of special Platinum Plus medical card. But I can't count on that.

Health care is all about exclusivity, pure and simple. It's for a group of like-minded people bonded by the dream of only having to contribute a portion of their weekly wages to ensure unfettered access to a number of licensed health care professionals. If we change all that, health care will be about as elite as a public restroom, open to any yokel who waltzes into an emergency room and can legally establish California residency.

Mark my words, this will completely destroy the allure of filling out all the necessary-but-time-consuming paperwork, choosing one primary care physician attached to one specific plan, and becoming eligible for prescription medications at a reduced rate.

The only reason this is even being considered is because a majority of voters want it. Well, of course they do—they don't have it! But you don't see 33rd Degree Freemasons letting any old average citizen into their inner sanctum just because he's curious. And you won't catch me sharing my God-given right to affordable lifesaving medical procedures with every bum who's got a jones for another hepatitis vaccination. It's undignified.

After all, how do I know I've made it in this world if I'm not able to enjoy something others can't?

Lack of access to health care is the seventh leading cause of death in the country, and that says something. It doesn't get much more elite than being part of a club other people are literally dying to get into. So what incentive would there be if everyone were guaranteed equal health care, regardless of income, age, or employment status? Who would be left to proudly tell their grandchildren about the glory days of PPOs? That is a future I'd rather not imagine, thank you very much.

So why the constant desire to guarantee basic yearly screenings and vital operations for all, thus creating some kind of ridiculous, unrealistic safety net? How will people fully appreciate the excellence of the American health care system without the constant threat of it being yanked away at any moment?

If middle-class children are given government-subsidized medical coverage from the beginning, they won't have anything to look forward to when they get older. Though my offspring will never have to worry about desperately trying to scrape together the money for a hospital visit, it doesn't mean we should do away with the millions of other uninsured Americans who show them how privileged they are to have it in the first place.

That's just a simple matter of respect.

I urge all citizens of good sense to reject any universal health care plan that gets put forward. It's time to stand up for what's right, and protect our most respectable institutions. If we don't do it now, what will they tell us next—that everyone deserves a free public education and "the right" to a fair trial?

Nice quote

2009-05-24T21:13:00.001-05:00

"Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children's children what it was once like in the United States where men were free. "
Ronald Reagan

Politiques

2009-05-14T22:22:00.003-05:00

I hate it how, especially in America, we try to label our beliefs into two different parties: Republican or Democrat. And I say beliefs and not political beliefs because we make assumptions often merely on one's beliefs. For example, if you're a Christian, you're Republican, and if you're not, you're Democrat.

I'm a Christian, but I hate those hard-core, doom's day, scare tactics people use in politics.

I'm pro-life, not because I don't understand a woman's position, but because murder is wrong.

I'm pro gun control because I think it creates more harm than good.

I'm pro-capitalism, and I'm pro-universal health care.

I'm pro-privacy, and I'm pro-protection, but not always at the expense of privacy.

I'm pro-free speech, and pro-tolerance, but not at the expense of free speech.

I'm pro-government assisitance for the needy (i.e. Medicaid), but only for the truly needy.

And I hate it when people make surface judgements. "You're a Christian? So you voted for McCain, right?" "What, you voted for O'Bama? I thought you were a Christian! You know he's pro-choice, right?"

This is who I am, this is what I believe. This is ME.

So what am I? Democrat? Republican? Both? In between? Neither?

My anwser? I'm just a citizen, doing his duty for the well-being of his beloved country, voting not based on party lines, tradition, or pressure, but only on my deep-rooted convictions in a way to promote a democratic society.

"Old People" 2: Black people are stupid?

2009-05-12T18:53:00.002-05:00

Yeah, I didn't know that either. Today while working at the pharmacy, an old guy comes up wanting to get something refilled. I inform him that he doesn't have any refills, and that we'll have to fax the physician to get it authorized. He said that he already told them he needed a refill, but he wasn't sure if it got through because the girl who usually worked was on vacation. Instead, there was "a black girl, so that's probably why it hasn't been done. Do you think that has something to do with it?" he asks me. "(pause out of disbelief).....NO, I don't think that has anything at all to do with it..."

It's people like this that give credence to racism.

im so tired of trying

2009-04-13T19:44:00.001-05:00

rejected. again.

The Things Old People Say

2009-04-12T22:42:00.002-05:00

Ok, so I was at my grandparents house tonight, along with my sister and her husband. We were sitting there talking after supper about various things. At one point we were discussing my job (pharmacy tech), which then led to healthcare in general, and then AIDS. At this point, out of the blue, my grandpa says, "You know, I'm not completely sure this is right, but sometimes I think that all those people in Africa having AIDS is God's way of controlling the population, weeding people out you know, kinda like natural selection and survival of the fittest."

Wow. Ok, that kind of talk scares me. If he weren't my grandpa, and I heard someone on the radio or something say that, I'd immediately label them as crazy. You know, like Nazi-militia freak-radical-super conservative-religious fanatic crazy.

Let us ponder the issues of that statement for a monent. Firstly, AIDS is super bad. I mean, it sucks. It's transimitted in various ways, primarily via unprotected sex. And there's the sterotypes that only gays get AIDS, and if you're a druggie you'll get AIDS. Don't get me wrong, it can happen that way, but usually people associate AIDS only with those forms of transmission. Numero deux, people seem to think Africa = AIDS, black people = AIDS, moreover, black Africans = AIDS. Really, that's what they think, it's simple as addition. Tres, Religiously speaking (this is gonna come from a Christian worldview, but I'm quite sure remains true for other main world religions), AREN'T WE SUPPOSED TO HAVE COMPASSION ON THE HURTING, SICK, BROKENHEARTED, and LESS-FORTUNATE?? Right? Did I miss something? We provide for those who don't have. We share, we love, we give, we pray, we HEAL. That's what Jesus did....In fact, that's what he was all about. And # fo, this just sounds like that crazy Malthus guy, with his crazy Malthusian ideas, something about how we didn't have enough food in the world to feed everybody, so the undesirables would just die off for the betterment of the rest of us (us meaning, of course, Caucasian Judeo-Christian Western rich folk).

Ok. End rant.

Thoughts?

Say Hello to Socialism

2009-03-30T18:19:00.002-05:00

Well, hopefully not, at least not all aspects of it. But what's up with our government firing people at will? The government has not right to fire CEOs.

"Obama spoke after the White House forced GM CEO and Chairman Rick Wagoner to step down. The president said the move was not a "condemnation" of the chairman -- rather a "recognition that it will take a new vision and new direction to create the GM of the future."

He said his interest lies in giving the company the opportunity to make "much-needed changes" so that it can emerge profitable and competitive.

"Let me be clear. The United States government has no interest in running GM. We have no intention of running GM," Obama said. " (http://www.foxnews.com/politics/first100days/2009/03/30/obama-auto/)

What? Are you serious? WHAT?? Now don't get me wrong, the guy needed to be fired, because apparently he's doing a pretty crappy job, but should that be done by the President??? This is not good.......

Engagement Photos

2009-03-23T21:24:00.005-05:00

So, this was my first attemp at "professional" photography. Luckily, it was for my cousin, so the stakes weren't quite so high. I was still really nervous though and didn't really know what I was doing. I think the biggest mistake though was the timing: we met in the late afternoon, so the sunlight and shadows were brutal. You can tell that in the pics. Oh well, at least now I now that's not the best time for portraits! Oh, and for any hardcore peeps, these were shot with a Nikon D40 with the built in flash. Anyway, here's a few of my favorites...

(ok so these aren't good thumbnails...make sure you click on it to see the whole pic!!)

wedding dress

2009-03-15T21:01:00.004-05:00

This is a great song by Derek Webb. I hadn't heard it in a long time, until the other day when I was riding around with a friend.

If you could love me as a wife
and for my wedding gift, your life
Should that be all I'd ever need
or is there more I'm looking for

and should I read between the lines
and look for blessings in disguise
To make me handsome, rich, and wise
Is that really what you want

I am a whore I do confess
But I put you on just like a wedding dress
and I run down the aisle
and I run down the aisle
I'm a prodigal with no way home
but I put you on just like a ring of gold
and I run down the aisle to you

So could you love this bastard child
Though I don't trust you to provide
With one hand in a pot of gold
and with the other in your side

I am so easily satisfied
by the call of lovers so less wild
That I would take a little cash
Over your very flesh and blood

Because money cannot buy
a husband's jealous eye
When you have knowingly deceived his wife

It reminds me a lot of the book of Hosea, and um, my life in general, haha.

Fasting and Dreams

2009-03-11T22:10:00.002-05:00

Yeah, so the facebook fast has officially ended. If I had to blame it on anyone (besides myself, of course), it'd have to be Caitlin. See, although I wasn't checking my facebook, I still got all those tempting email updates. So when I saw that she had posted a pic of me, and then there were a lot of comments, I just couldn't resist. So yeah Caitlin, it's your fault. Oh well, thankfully I have freedom in Christ!

On another note...what do you think of dreams? Do you put much stock in them? Take them seriously? I believe that people can sometimes have prophetic dreams, and I definitely think God can speak to people through dreams. So, anyway, the other day I prayed about just that, that God would help me to remember my dreams. (I NEVER EVER EVER remember them.) So the next morning, I kid you not, I remember the exact details of my dream. And it was definitely a dream I'd like to come true, about receiving a letter from certain school with certain good news!

The Shack

2009-02-28T22:12:00.003-05:00

This is perhaps one of the most amazing books I've ever read. It has completely changed my perception of who God is, how he relates to us, and his sovereingty. It's about a man who takes his family on a camping trip to a state park. In the chaos that ensues, his little girl is kidnapped. After a day or two of searching, they find evidence of her at this old shabby shack in the wilderness. About three years later, the father receives a letter from from "Papa," asking him to join him at the shack this upcoming weekend. At first he thinks it's a sick joke, but the more he ponders it, he considers that it may truly be from God (after all, his wife lovingly refers to God as Papa). So, he decides to journey to the shack, and...well, you'll have to read the book! Basically he has a weekend with God, battling through the pain of losing his daughter and how that has changed him.

After reading the book, you'll have to decide for yourself whether you think his experience is real or not. Maybe you'll think he just had a little bit too much morphine, I don't know. As for me though, I know it certainly spoke to me in a very real way. It taught me so many things about the character of God that may seem strange or even radical, yet I know it to be true in my heart. I can promise you that it will change your perception of God and your relationship with him. I think from now on I'll always think of God as Papa, Jesus, and Sarayu (the Holy Spirit). You gotta read this book. I know I will many more times in the future.

Mountains Collage

2009-02-19T20:33:00.000-05:00

I was playing around with Picasa, so here's a collage of my family's trip to the mountains in Ellijay, GA last fall.

Freedom by Run Kid Run

2009-02-12T21:35:00.001-05:00

I've never heard this song or the band before, but I'm glad I did because it's pretty awesome.

shoes!

2009-02-10T23:30:00.003-05:00

K, so I was randomly looking at shoes on overstock.com. I would probably never really ever buy one of these pairs, but they are pretty ghetto fabulous...

and um, obviously I like brown...

Whatever Reason-Disciple

2009-02-08T20:18:00.000-05:00

great song...

In a whirlwind caught away
Broken lips have carried you to a place
Where you don’t know just how
you ever got this far away from here
Thinking somehow you could cross the point of no return
But my love will never end

Whatever reason you’ve been running
I just don’t care anymore
Already forgotten whatever happened with what went wrong
I just want you to come home

Incarcerated, borrowed shame
Freedom was the promise they took away
And now you’re left with what you find so hard is forgiving yourself

I see something far away
Could this be the day to take you in these arms
and wash all of the wasted days and years away?
Just to see the eyes of my beloved child
Now I’m running I’m the one that’s running

Hold My Hand

2009-01-30T22:03:00.001-05:00

Heard this song today on my iPod and thought it was a good play off of the previous post of Psalm 13. It's by my latest favorite band, Tenth Avenue North.

How long must I pray, must I pray to You?
How long must I wait, must I wait for You?
How long 'til I see Your face, see You shining through?
I'm on my knees, begging You to notice me.
I'm on my knees, Father will you turn to me?

One tear in the dropping rain,
One voice in the sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breakin' heart?
One light, that's all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You're everything You say You are
Won't You come close and hold my heart

I've been so afraid, afraid to close my eyes
So much can slip away before I say goodbye.
But if there's no other way, I'm done asking why.
Cuz I'm on my knees, begging You to turn to me
I'm on my knees, Father will you run to me?

One tear in the dropping rain,
One voice in the sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breakin' heart?
One light, that's all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You're everything You say You are
Won't You come close and hold my heart.

So many questions without answers, Your promises remain
I can't sleep but I'll take my chances to hear You call my name
To hear You call my name

One tear in the dropping rain,
One voice in the sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breakin' heart?
One light, that's all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You're everything You say You are
Won't You come close and hold my heart.

Hold my heart, could you hold my heart?
Hold my heart.

Strength will rise as we wait upon the LORD

2009-01-30T09:52:00.000-05:00

1 How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
2How long must I take counsel in my soul
and have sorrow in my heart all the day?
How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?

3 Consider and answer me, O LORD my God;
light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death,
4 lest my enemy say, "I have prevailed over him,"
lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.

5But I have trusted in your steadfast love;
my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
6I will sing to the LORD,
because he has dealt bountifully with me.

-Psalm 13

Laminin

2009-01-12T22:55:00.001-05:00

Sorry for all the videos, but this is just so incredible. I've seen it like 5 times, and it gives me goosebumps every time. You science buffs will really love it.

Hallelujah-Tenth Avenue North

2009-01-12T22:39:00.001-05:00

Me likes this song a lot. Actually their whole cd is good. Check it out on iTunes.

Flip

2009-01-11T22:28:00.003-05:00

I want one of these. Really badly. It comes with 2GB of memory, which equates to 1 hour film time. I wonder if it will support a bigger card though? Cuz it would be super awesome with like a 64G SD card...

Gettin' rid of junk

2009-01-11T21:52:00.002-05:00

Just thought I'd clarify on that a bit. At least my take on it, because Bell doesn't really explain how to do it, so I'll share my thoughts on it. I think the most important thing to know is that you CANNOT FIX YOURSELF. To "stare your junk in the face" doesn't mean to come up with a disciplined action plan on how to correct it. Or a "do" and "don't" list. Because you know what? You will fail. I promise. I'm speaking from experience.

Rather, I think to stare your junk in the face is to acknowledge the problem, and then give it to God. Because you can't overcome it outside of Christ. And ironically, to be too focused on the problem and trying to overcome it, that makes you NOT focused on Christ. The important thing is to become transparent, to emulate Jesus. As you are more focused on Him and worshiping and adoring Him, he will continue to change you and sanctify you, as he has promised. But it is important to face your problems by acknowledging them and then give them over to Christ.

Velvet Elvis

2009-01-09T22:50:00.002-05:00

I've heard several people recommend Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell, but I just never read it. The other day, however, it caught my eye at the bookstore and I decided to buy it. Plus it was 50% off. Anyway, I'm about half way through, and he's got some really good points in there. One thing I like is when he talks about salvation. He discusses how many people tend to view it as a legal transaction only. And it's ok to think of it that way, in fact the language used in Ephesians 1:13-14 utilizes legal terms. But his point is that you shouldn't stop there. Salvation isn't just about Jesus saving you at the cross. It isn't merely a once-for-all deal, it's more of a process. God doesn't only want to cover up our sins, He wants to restore us to the person He originally planned for us to be. As Christians, our goal isn't to not sin, it's to live like Jesus.

Another really cool point is about letting go of the past and moving on in your life, but that can't be done until we properly deal with our problems. Or as Bell so eloquently puts it, "For Jesus to heal my soul, I have to stare my junk right in the face." You know what I mean, we all have those really big issues we struggle with. Those things we don't talk about, we're ashamed of, the things we ignore and think that by doing so it will just go away miraculously. Well, you can't really get past those things until you face them and own up to them in Christ. And I kinda understand what he's talking about here. I've recently tackled some "junk" in my life (but not all!) and have experienced both healing and freedom.

Well, like I said, he has some good points, so I look forward to reading the rest of the book.

Tim Hawkins

2008-12-28T21:04:00.002-05:00

This guy is hilarious...."Lord, change this Cheeto into a carrot stick as it goes down..."

Mere Christianity

2008-12-27T21:06:00.002-05:00

Yo! Just wanted to check in with you, and let you know I'm currently reading Mere Christianity by none other than C.S. Lewis. I've always wanted to read his classic works, but never had the book! Well, thankfully I got his collection for Christmas, so I'm super excited. Currently, my favorite quote is, "But one word of warning. There has been a great deal of soft soap talked about God for the last hundred years. That is not what I am offering. You can cut all that out." Haha, I think that's awesome...thus, it's also on my facebook quotes.

Oh, another random update: So, I think I have more Calvinistic leanings than I previously thought. Before, I think agreed with up to 3 points of Calvinism, but now I think it's shifted to 4 out of the 5 (meaning T-U-_-I-P of the acronym, for those of you who know it. U is the latest addition ). I'm not up to explaining everything right now though, so I'll save that for a rainy day...

So, I haven't posted in FOREVER

2008-12-21T13:08:00.004-05:00

Sorry about that. I guess I just don't do it that often because I have such slow internet access at home...but that has now changed!! We got DSL last week, and I'm oh-so-excited. I mean, I can actually check facebook in like a minute versus 10!!

So what's new? Well, I just returned home after spending a week with Aaron for the BIG WEDDING! I think it went really well and I'm extremely happy for them. I've seen them grow and change a lot as a couple, so it was cool to see this culminating act of marriage.

Great new song!

2008-10-07T12:26:00.003-05:00

What Life Would Be Like--Big Daddy Weave

I wish I was more of a man
Have you ever felt that way
And if I had to tell you the truth
I'm afraid I'd have to say
That after all I've done and failed to do
I feel like less than I was meant to be

What if I could fix myself
Maybe then I could get free
I could try to be somebody else
Who's much better off than me
But I need to remember this
That it's when I'm at my weakest
I can clearly see

He made the lame walk and the dumb talk
And He opened blinded eyes to see
That the sun rises on His time
Yet He knows our deepest desperate need
And the world waits while His heart aches
To realize the dream
I wonder what life would be like if we let Jesus live through you and me

What if you could see yourself through another pair of eyes
What if you could hear the truth
Instead of old familiar lies
What if you could feel inside
The power of the hand that made the universe You'd realize

That He made the lame walk and the dumb talk
And He opened blinded eyes to see
That the sun rises on His time
Yet He knows our deepest desperate need
And the world waits while His heart aches
To realize the dream
I wonder what life would be like if we let Jesus live through you and me

Yeah, yeah

All our hearts they burn within us
All our lives we've longed for more
So let us lay our lives before the one who gave His life for us

He made the lame walk and the dumb talk
He opened blinded eyes to see
That the sun rises on His time
Yet He knows our deepest desperate need
And the world waits while His heart aches
To realize the dream
I wonder what life would be like if we let Jesus live through you and me

Yeah, yeah
Let Him live through you and me
Yeah, yeah

Not a song this time!!

2008-09-19T15:25:00.002-05:00

Just some words of wisdom from the Lord. I've always liked this passage from 2 Corinthians 2:14-16:

But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere. 15 For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing, 16 to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life.

But today I was reading the entire chapter during my time with the Lord, and it had a whole new meaning within the context of the chapter. In verses 12 and 13, Paul is writing about his disappointment in not being able to visit the Corinthians. Although the Lord gave him an opportunity (v.12), he still didn't feel led in his spirit to go there. Therefore, his plans changed and he just had to carry on from there, whatever presented itself next. So to contextualize this with the next verses reiterates God's sovereignty. Whenever things do go as you plan, or even if they don't go according to how you thing God is leading you, always know that He is in control, and now matter what you do, you have the opportunity to spread the gospel and the fragrance of Christ. What an incredible promise!

Yep, another song...

2008-08-13T15:59:00.002-05:00

This one's by The Almost, and it's called Amazing, Because It Is

I was so scared of everything you put in front of me
I've been arching every part of me
Just to see
See
Why you need me to be
The boy you need me to be

Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saves a wretch like me
I once was lost
And now I'm found
Was blind but now I see

I just wanna see

I'm the type of person who lets fear drive
I'm the type of guy who lets it drive
Cause I'm addicted, I'm needy,
I'm lost without you
I need you
I need you

Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saves a wretch like me
I once was lost
But now I'm found
Was blind but now I see

Amazing grace (amazing grace)
How sweet the sound (how sweet)
That saved a wretch like me (that saved a wretch like me)
I once was lost
But now I'm found (you know I'm found)
Was blind but now I see

Amazing grace (you're amazing)
How sweet the sound (you're amazing)
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost (it feels so bad when you're lost and alone)
But now I'm found
Was blind but now I see

Whatever You're Doing

2008-07-31T14:29:00.002-05:00

This is a song I heard for the first time the other day by Sanctus Real, and I really liked it.

It's time for healing time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
And all I can do is surrender

(Chorus)
Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something Heavenly

Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Reevaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow Your will
Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is You want from me
I give everything I surrender...
To...

(Chorus)

Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to release all my held back tears

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly
Something Heavenly

It's time to face up
Clean this old house
Time breathe in and let everything out

Habakkuk 3:17-19

2008-07-15T15:56:00.006-05:00

I've been battling with some things lately and just wanted to share. Sometimes (ok, often) it is SO easy for us to get caught up in our struggles and worries and in the process to lose focus of God. These are the moments that hurt the most, and the pain of that struggle is intensified when we distance ourselves from God. In the midst of our problems we tend to zoom in on that and forget about everything else. It is in those moments, however, that it is so important to zoom back out, always looking unto Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith.

In those hard moments, we must acknowledge that God's strong hand will always hold us, even if it seems we have no strength to hold Him. When you stop to critique your faith, you lose focus on Christ. Faith is sustained by looking unto Christ, not by analyzing your faith.

Here's my rendition of Habakkuk 3:17-19, some beautiful verses that I strive to cling to:

Though the fig tree doesn't blossom, or no fruit grows on the vines,
Though the produce of the olive fails, and the fields yield no food,
Though the flock is cut off from the fold, and there is no herd in the stalls,
Despite these--I will rejoice in the Lord;
I will take joy in the God of my salvation.
God, the Lord, is my strength;
He makes my feet swift like the deer's;
He makes me tread through high places.

It is in those most difficult moments of pain that we must realize that God is with us, He is on our side, carrying us through, and He knows exactly what He's doing. Additionally, these struggles will ultimately strengthen us, refine us, and help us to love God even more, bringing Him all the more glory.

My Sister's Wedding

2008-04-30T16:12:00.000-05:00

Check out my sis' wedding pics!

Search Me, Know Me-Jonah 33

2008-04-27T21:43:00.002-05:00

Search me, know me
Try me and see
Every worthless affection hidden in me
All I'm asking for is that You'd cleanse me, Lord

Create in me a heart that's clean
Conquer the power of secret shame
Come wash away the guilty stain of all my sin

Clothe me in robes of righteousness
Cover my nakedness with grace
All of my life before You now I humbly bring

--------------------

Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!
[Psalm 139.23-24]

Jesus Texts!

2008-04-18T07:18:00.005-05:00

16Your words were found, and I ate them,
and your words became to me a joy
and the delight of my heart,
for I am called by your name,
O LORD, God of hosts.
[Jeremiah 15.16]

A friend send me a text message the other day with "Jeremiah 15:16" as the signature. So, I looked up the passage to see what it was. I recognized the verse--it's one of my favorites, and in fact I had it underlined already. And so I was like, oh, that's nice. And then the moment was almost over, before I started thinking, you know, this is one thing I've really been struggling with. I think one of the most important things for a Christian to do is to daily be in communion with God through his Word. So, I try to start my day off doing that every morning. Some days are really great, and I can feel God's Spirit moving and teaching me through the Word. It becomes a joy to learn these new things and I treasure them in my heart. And then there are the other days. Days when I can't focus, when I don't feel good, when I don't desire to meet with God or to learn about Him. Or days when I DO desire to meet with God but for some reason I just don't feel that sense of communion. I read and it goes right through me. If you asked me to summarize what I had read merely 30 seconds after reading it I couldn't do it. Or I'll read and think, well that's nice, what does it have to do with me? I struggle a lot with applying it to my life and making it real to me. So, with these thoughts in mind, I read past Jeremiah 15:16 to see what else it had to say.

17 I did not sit in the company of revelers,
nor did I rejoice;
I sat alone, because your hand was upon me,
for you had filled me with indignation.
18Why is my pain unceasing,
my wound incurable,
refusing to be healed?
Will you be to me like a deceitful brook,
like waters that fail?

So, once I read this, I was kinda feeling worse. I was like, hey, that's me! Sometimes I'm not rejoicful, sometimes I feel lonely. Is God at work in the midst of this? Is His hand upon me? And then verse 18 really got me. No joke, I was like, "yeah God! Yeah! What's up with this? Why does it have to hurt so much? What's going on?" To which He responded,

19Therefore thus says the LORD: "If you return, I will restore you,
and you shall stand before me.
If you utter what is precious, and not what is worthless,
you shall be as my mouth.

Oh. Ouch. So, it's my fault? True, it typically is. I'm not saying this is always the case, but oftentimes when we struggle with our relationship with God it's because of sin in our life that we're unwilling to give up. Or there's something God is calling us to do and we haven't responded. For Jeremiah, he had wandered away from God. So God basically told him, I'm right here. I never left. I'm where I've always been and I'm waiting for you. I'll take you back, always. Just please come to Me, because I desperately desire for you to be completely fulfilled and satisfied in Me.

Love Heals Your Heart-Third Day

2008-04-17T12:17:00.001-05:00

Did you think you were immune to this
Did you think you could escape without infection
You do all you're able to resist
Just to avoid the danger of rejection

Memory warns you of the past
When it all went wrong

When you think your life is shattered
And there's no way to be fixed again
Love heals your heart
At a time you least expected
You're alive like you have never been
Love heals your heart

Everybody has a wall to climb
That was built to guard the pain that holds them captive
Every smile that they would hide behind
Will try to mask the hurt beneath the surface

Sometimes it's hard to understand
How we're trapped inside

When you think your life is shattered
And there's no way to be fixed again
Love heals your heart
At a time you least expected
You're alive like you have never been
Love heals your heart

Breaking My Fall-Jeremy Camp

2008-04-07T23:15:00.000-05:00

So easily I fall, So easily you reach your hand out,
Quickly will I drown, Know the pulls of all my reason,
So easily will I feel, So easily will your peace surpass me,
Quickly will I trust in anything I think is worthy,
How many times you make the waves calm down,
So I wont be afraid now ?

[CHORUS:]
I saw you breaking my, breaking my fall,
What am I supposed to do ?
I saw you breaking my, breaking my fall,
What am I suppose to do ?
(What am I suppose to do?)

How precious are your thoughts ?
(How precious are your thoughts?)
And how many of them, you think about me,
Faithful are your ways,
I always feel your grace abound me,
Quickly will I call,
Quickly will you answer my cry,
Carefully will you bring, everything I need in my life,
How many of times you make the waves calm down,
So I wont be afraid now ?

[CHORUS:]
I saw you breaking my, breaking my fall,
What am I supposed to do ?
I saw you breaking my, breaking my fall,
What am I supposed to do ?
(What am I supposed to do?)

This narrow road I'm walking,
This world tries to draw,
Whoever will help me fight it,
But you wont face it all,

[CHORUS:]
I saw you breaking my, breaking my fall,
What am I supposed to do ?
I saw you breaking my, breaking my fall,
What am I supposed to do ?
(What am I supposed to do?)

Hard Words

2008-03-29T19:26:00.002-05:00

After Jesus explained that he was the bread of life, some of his disciples said, "This is a hard saying; who can listen to it?" (John 6:60).

Have you ever had something like that happen in your life? Something that was really hard to understand, hard to grasp, but something God was calling you to do anyway?

I've been praying that God would help me do something, that he would prepare me for a change coming in my life. I've done it slightly begrudgingly, not really wanted to have to change. Well, God has answered my prayer, and instead of being rejoicful (ha, I totally just made that word up), I've kind of been like, 'you know God, I would have been ok if you hadn't answered this one.' Does the phrase, "be careful what you wish for" come to mind?

I've been trying to remind myself of God's sovereignty, however. God knows what's best for me, whether I want him to follow through on the prayer or not. And then I have to remember that it was He who placed the situation on my heart anyway, so it was in His will that I should be praying about it from the beginning.

So, what's the point of this post? I guess to share with you what I'm learning, to follow God's will for your life--He knows what's best. No matter how hard it seems, He has a plan, He has a purpose.

Disciples

2008-03-24T08:24:00.003-05:00

I think one of the biggest problems in the church today is a decreasing number of disciples. By disciples, I mean people who are truly in God's word, who are leaders, who openly share their faith, in short, things that a typical Christian should do. Jesus says, "If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free" (John 8:31-32).

Where are all the disciples? Let me be clear, I am definitely speaking to myself on this too. How can we as Christians expect to be disciples if we are not daily in God's word and constantly meditating on it and letting it change us? We can't!

Father, I pray that you would give us all a desire for your word!

Great Songs

2008-03-15T09:42:00.002-05:00

Here's some songs I've downloaded recently from iTunes, because I like them so much and they're awesome. You should check them out! Some of them are really common, and so multiple artists have done them, but here's the ones I chose:

Rescue, Desperation Band
Lead Me To The Cross, Hillsong United
Give Us Clean Hands, White's Chapel Worship
The More I Seek You, White's Chapel Worship
Better Is One Day, Matt Redman

The cool things about these songs is the common them they have, and the fact that God has placed them on my heart and I've been singing them recently. The first two are about our desperation and desire for God, when we are sinking in despair. The third expresses our desire for a clean and holy life for God, and the fourth is our realization that as we seek God, we will grow closer to Him. The fifth is our exultation and celebration of the hope of glory and righteousness that we will have for all eternity with the Father. He is all we desire and need. Hallelujah!!

Micah 7:7-9

2008-02-27T18:24:00.001-05:00

But as for me, I will look to the LORD;
I will wait for the God of my salvation;
my God will hear me.

Rejoice not over me, O my enemy;
when I fall, I shall rise;
when I sit in darkness,
the LORD will be a light to me.

I will bear the indignation of the LORD
because I have sinned against him,
until he pleads my cause
and executes judgment for me.

He will bring me out to the light;
I shall look upon his vindication.

Je veux que tu comprennes

2008-02-19T09:05:00.001-05:00

Je vois le trouble dans ta vie,
Je veux que tu t’en sortes,
Je suis franchement ton ami,
Alors voici la porte :

Tu vis dans le noir ;
La lumière t’est inconnu.
J’veux être un miroir,
Mais je suis bien trop ému.

Mon coeur est brisé,
Mon corps est blessé,
Parce que je veux q’tu comprennes.

Ma bouche reste fermée,
Mes mots se retrouve cachés,
Et pourtant, j’veux q’tu comprennes.

Je ne sais pas comment réagir ;
J’arrive pas à t’en parler,
Mais je ne veux pas te voir mourir ;
Je ne peux pas te laisser.

Jésus est mort pour toi ,
Pour que tu puisses avoir la vie.
J’veux partager ma foi,
Et que tu cèdes au Saint Esprit.

Son coeur était brisé,
Son corps était blessé,
J’veux q’tu comprennes.

Ma bouche est grande ouverte,
Mes mots n’ont plus de couvercle,
C’est sûr q’je veux q’tu comprennes.

-Andrew Jones
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=7862694838&ref=mf

Pain

2008-02-14T09:54:00.003-05:00

Pain--has an Element of Blank--
It cannot recollect
When it begun--or if there were
A time when it was not--

It has no Future--but itself--
Its Infinite contain
Its Past--enlightened to perceive
New Periods--of Pain.

Emily Dickinson

In Search of the Perfect Mug

2008-02-10T21:59:00.000-05:00

Yeah, so I really need a new coffee mug/thermus/tumbler thingy. The only problem is, I'm kind of picky, apparently, or else it wouldn't be so hard to find one. It has to meet four qualifications:

1)It's not girly looking.
2)It is microwavable (for my instant coffee)
3)It's dishwasher safe (that's just how I roll)
4)It has a handle (or else, I WILL drop my coffee, all over myself, and then sue McDonald's for the fun of it)

So, if you see the Perfect Mug, let a brotha know!

Mon Interview!

2008-02-07T09:48:00.000-05:00

Aujourd’hui j’ai eu une interview chez Mercer University School of Medicine. Elle a commencé à dix heures et a duré jusqu’à quinze heures ! J’avais très peur en préparant pour l’interview. Mais, pourquoi ? Ça ne m’a pas aidé ! Quand c’était l’heure pour l’interview, j’ai trouvé que j’étais calme. Il n’y avait aucune raison de s’inquiéter !

Quand je suis arrivé à l’école, je me suis assis avec les autres étudiants qui y étaient pour une interview aussi. Quand tout est arrivé (il y avait quatre personnes), le doyen des étudiants est venu pour nous parler de Mercer. Puis, une dame du bureau de la finance nous a dit comment financer nos études. Ensuite, nous sommes allés à l’hôpital pour manger le déjeuner avec des étudiants qui sont dans leur quatrième année.

Après le déjeuner, j’ai eu ma première interview avec Dr. Moon, un vieil homme étrange ! Il a parlé lentement et m’a demandé des questions curieuses, comme « Quelle est la différence entre un plombier et un médecin » ? Aussi, il m’a gardé pendant longtemps et j’ai été en retard pour ma prochaine interview ! Mais, ma deuxième interview, c’était meilleure. L’interviewer était une jeune étudiante de médecine avec qui j’ai des similarités. Comme moi, elle veut devenir missionnaire médicale ! J’étais ravi et donc je pense que l’interview était réussie. Mais maintenant est la partie la plus difficile, c'est-à-dire : attendant. Il sera deux semaines avant que je saurai si je suis admis. C’est la torture, ceci !

Moe Hope

2008-01-22T12:12:00.000-05:00

How do you convey to someone what it means to hope? To hope in God? To know, and trust, and rely on Him? It can be very challenging to break through to someone who's heart is so hardened by hopelessness, despair, and suffering.

Moe is a guy some friends and I met under a bridge last Fall. He was drunk when we talked to him, but still somewhat coherent. You see, he struggles with alcoholism, but he only does it to drown away his troubles. That's what he told us, anyway, once we had offered him some food and broken the ice a little bit. He served two tours in Vietnam, saw things I could never imagine, made choices I could never make. He'd been to Hell and back, as he put it. Later on, he lost his wife and daughter, the only family that he had. That's when the real struggle with alcoholism began. He is qualified as a painter, and had plenty of work, but you can imagine how downward spiral unfolded until he found himself under a bridge.

We tried to tell him about God, how He cares for him more than he realizes, how He loves him, how He longs for Moe to know Him intimately. How he can have hope in God. It didn't appear that he believed a word of it. "How can God allow this? How can God allow my daughter to die? How could He allow me to live like this?" I struggled myself. What did I know? I have know idea what it means to suffer, to have my family and friends and job taken away from me, to have to daily look for shelter and sustenance. How could I, a pampered, well-fed, loved person blessed beyond comprehension possibly know what it meant to struggle with these things? Would I have hope if I were in his shoes?

It was a struggle indeed. Did I believe in God's Sovereignty? That He is in control, and knows all, and works through everything that happens to us? We tried to explain the Sovereignty of God to Moe, but once again, he just couldn't grasp it. Later that day when we left, we were all pretty down. We felt like we hadn't gotten through to him, hadn't conveyed that wonderful hope we have in Christ through His righteousness.

And then before we knew it, it was time to go home for Christmas. We all went back to our comfortable homes with our comfortable families eating our comfortable food and sleeping in our comfortable beds. After having come back to school, though, we went out to find our friends again. Luckily, we found a dear friend our our's, Regina, who gave us some information about Moe that gave us great hope.

She said that Moe had been asking about us over the break, wondering where his "little friends" were. She told us that it meant an incredibly lot to him, more than we know, that we met him and talked with him. She said that he felt that we really cared for him, that we really loved him. Well, I was just blown away by this, and immediately started to both praise God for His sovereignty and to repent for my doubts.

The sad news, however, was that Moe was now in the hopital. So, she told us the room number and we went yesterday to go and see him. It took him a second to realize who we were, but he was really overjoyed to see us. He had stepped on a nail a few months ago, but waited to long to go to the hospital, and it had been giving him problems ever since. Sadly, because of infections and gangreen, I suppose, they are going to have to amputate three of his toes. We brought him flowers, a card, and a candy bar (which really made him happy!). The most amazing part though was our conversation with him. One person with told him that "as horrible as this may sound Moe, and as bad as things seem right now with you in the hospital, I hope you can see how God is working through this. I believe that God may have allowed this to happen so that you could get off the streets, break free from alcoholism, and get your life back together." I completely agreed. The hospital staff had given him some numbers to call and resources where he could get clothes, food, housing, help with bills, etc. We were all so excited about this, about the turn of events, how we could see God moving. We tried to instill in Moe a sense of hope, and I think he is beginning to see it.

"And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you."
1 Peter 5:10

I Run-Forty Days

2008-01-18T22:22:00.000-05:00

We sang this at Overflow, and it was flippin awesome, but I can't find it on iTunes. Alas, iTunes, you have let me down...
--------------
I've never had a day like this,
when things become so clear & I can feel you here

I've never had to pray like this;
it's all that I can do to see me through the fear

But when my faith begins to fail me,
and I can't find my way

I run, I fall into the arms of my Father,
into a Love like no other

I walk, I crawl; it doesn't matter how I get here only that I can be here at all

All that seems to cloud my mind,
is how can be I strong, and how do I move on

But I know You will never fail me,
You will be my way

(CHORUS)

I will call upon You,
Lord You are worthy to be praised, so shall I be saved

Check this out.

2008-01-17T12:19:00.000-05:00

This is a really cool post about the adulterous woman:

http://www.desiringgod.org/AboutUs/MonthlyNewsletter/2008_01/

You Are Loved-Hope's Call

2008-01-17T12:05:00.000-05:00

Have you ever felt the Father’s love
As He holds you in His arms
When you start to say I’m sorry
He says you’ve done nothing wrong
Have you failed to meet the standards that you thought you should attain
Only to hear Him call your name, saying

Chorus:
You are loved beyond your failures
You are loved beyond your past
The hope that you’ve imagined
Is now reality at last
You are loved with no conditions
You are loved with no remorse
The scars of your forgiveness
Are engraved upon the Lord
You are loved

Have you seen your life be torn apart
By things you could not help
Until you finally reach the point
Where you could only blame yourself
Have you laid your head to sleep
And think you’ll always be alone
Then waken to His voice calling you home,
He says

Chorus repeat

ahhhhhhhh

2007-12-01T19:36:00.000-05:00

Here's why I'm ahhhhhhhhhhing....I have a ton of stuff to do this week. Yes, I acknowledge that this is nothing but a post of me complaining, but I just wanted to get it all out. Plus, writing this out will help me remember what I've got to do.

Sunday
Meet SCP group to go make group presentation
Work on all the following stuff that's due this week..

Monday
SCP response paper due (and I have no idea what I'm going to write it on)
Presentation to Habitat for Humanity Board of Directors
French response paper due about a movie we watched last week

Tuesday
Judge Alex II science fair projects
Micro lab notebooks due (all 13,000 write ups, that is)

Wednesday
French presentation, that she just told us about Friday

Thursday
Micro unknown paper due

Friday
10 page research paper due about how healthcare inequalities affect the homeless-nope, haven't started it yet

So, yeah, this week's gonna be CRAZY

When I Don't Desire God by John Piper

2007-11-30T23:27:00.000-05:00

"How sweet all at once it was for me to be rid of those fruitless joys which I had once feared to lose . . . ! You drove them from me, you who are the true, the sovereign joy. You drove them from me and took their place, you who are sweeter than all pleasure, though not to flesh and blood, you who outshine all light, yet are hidden deeper than any secret in our hearts, you who surpass all honor, though not in the eyes of men who see all honor in themselves. . . O Lord my God, my Light, my Wealth, and my Salvation."

-Augustine, Confessions, 181 (IX.1)

Pour L'amour du café

2007-11-11T20:45:00.000-05:00

I haven't posted in a while so here's what's up...I'm currently sitting in Java City sipping on some coffee, which I love. Mmm, yes, coffee is my addiction. I've been hooked since the beginning though, ever since my Grannie would make me coffee as a tot.

Anyway, I'm just chillin, studying for a Microbiology test. Other than that, not too much going on. I also have a French Test on Wednesday, and it's going to be completely oral, so that's kinda scary...

So, church was pretty much awesome today. It was something that I really needed to hear. The power of Christ's resurrection, and the freedom that comes through that. I know that's pretty basic, but it was so refreshing to hear it again.

Well, I suppose that's about it for now.

sometimes i like to write down words as they come into my head...

2007-10-15T17:42:00.000-05:00

green
close
water
coffee
sleep
God
future
supper
ham
mccorkle
bible
homework
phone
highlighter
soccer
clouds
mama
expedition
camping
africa
missions
french
micro report......which i really need to work on

quite random, and perhaps stereotypical

2007-10-14T22:06:00.001-05:00

I would just like to make the general statement that girls are extremely confusing/misleading, and they shouldn't be...

East to West

2007-10-12T18:16:00.000-05:00

Here I am, Lord, and I'm drowning in your sea of forgetfulness
The chains of yesterday surround me
I yearn for peace and rest
I don't want to end up where You found me
And it echoes in my mind, keeps me awake tonight
I know You've cast my sin as far as the east is from the west
And I stand before You now as though I've never sinned
But today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way

Jesus, can You show me just how far the east is from the west
'cause I can't bear to see the man I've been come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
'cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other

I start the day, the war begins, endless reminding of my sin
Time and time again Your truth is drowned out by the storm I'm in
Today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way

I know You've washed me white, turned my darkness into light
I need Your peace to get me through, to get me through this night
I can't live by what I feel, but by the truth Your word reveals
I'm not holding on to You, but You're holding on to me
You're holding on to me

Jesus, You know just how far the east is from the west
I don't have to see the man I've been come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
'cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other
One scarred hand to the other
From one scarred hand to the other

Half Century Club

2007-09-28T20:50:00.000-05:00

So tonight I had to work an event for the Mercer Ambassadors. It's called the Half Century Club, and it's for alumni who graduated 50 or more years ago. My duty was to ride the trolley back and forth from the Hilton Garden Inn with the old people (sorry, but they were kinda old). It was pretty neat and I was tripping out on some of the stories they were telling me. About how girls had to wear raincoats when walking to the gym, even if it wasn't raining, because they couldn't show anything above their ankles. About how chapel in those days was required. About the pranks they used to pull on themselves and on Wesleyan. And then I got to eat with them, and it was actually pretty good. I mean, it was still catered by Aramark, but at least they used seasoning and fully cooked the vegetables.

Let's see, what else. Oh, I was on TV Wednesday! Yeah, it was quite exciting. A cameraman from the local NBC station was out there when we had See You At The Pole. You can watch the ghettofied version on facebook.

I'm kinda home alone this weekend and it makes me sad. Most of my roomies left me :( No, it's ok though because I'm still gonna hang out with some peeps. Tomorrow a bunch of us are going out to eat a an Indian restaurant here in town, so I'm excited about that because I've never had Indian food before.

Besides that I plan on getting a lot of work done. I have a French test Monday that I've got to study for. Also, I need to write my senior capstone paper, read for microbiology, come up with some survey questions, do my laundry, go to the grocery store, fill out med school applications, and do my graduation application...hmmm I hope I can fit that all in. I tend to have the habit of planning too many things in too little time.

So, I'm definitely studying now in the UC and I'm bored out of my mind, which is why I'm blogging and facebooking. Peace...

More Than A Friend

2007-09-25T22:11:00.000-05:00

In the quiet of my soul
In the stillness I hear Your voice call
And I am overwhelmed
And I am lost for words
To describe You

Jesus You're more than a friend
Jesus You're more than my heart could ever express
Your love and Your grace never fail me
Your merciful touch always heals me
You bring joy to my soul

My heart longs to worship You my King
And I long to bring You a pleasing offering
And I am overwhelmed
And I am lost for words
To describe You

Crowded Lonliness

2007-09-16T21:24:00.001-05:00

Is there such a thing? I don't know, but there must be, because that's how I feel, yet I don't really know what I feel. Is that confusing? I know, I'm confused myself.

the need to escape

2007-09-01T16:44:00.000-05:00

im finding the need to escape from myself
to run to hide to get out of this shell
absolutely anything to escape from this hell

i try to fight it each and every day
but in the end it seems theres no way
to escape from this sin that comes from within

ive hit a wall i feel completely penned
and i ask myself is this the end
what can i do how can i win

------------

So...that seems dark, eh? I started writing that a long time ago, when I wasn't feeling too great. I haven't finished it yet, but don't worry, it will get better!

The Purpose of Satan

2007-08-08T09:34:00.000-05:00

This is something that God taught me while reading Revelation. First, here's the passage:

"7Now war arose in heaven, Michael and his angels fighting against the dragon. And the dragon and his angels fought back, 8but he was defeated, and there was no longer any place for them in heaven. 9And the great dragon was thrown down, that ancient serpent, who is called the devil and Satan, the deceiver of the whole world— he was thrown down to the earth, and his angels were thrown down with him. 10And I heard a loud voice in heaven, saying, "Now the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of his Christ have come, for the accuser of our brothers has been thrown down, who accuses them day and night before our God. 11And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death." (Revelation 12, ESV)

Well, this is a cool passage because it gives us the background info on Satan. In Genesis, we don't know exactly how he came about, except that he tempted Eve, which therefore led to the fall of man. But, I've always kind of wondered, why do we even have Satan? Wouldn't things be much simpler if he weren't here at all? Think about it, no sin, no death, eternal life for all. But then, as I was reading, I got to verse 10, and I was like, wowwwwwww. Did you catch it, did you have the wow moment? Read it again. Again, until it makes sense. It's all about the sovereignty of God. If Satan had not been cast out of heaven, there would indeed be no sin, at least not through him anyway. No sin, so no need for salvation, no need for a Savior, no need of Christ. It is because of Satan, because of sin that the God who created the universe and us came to this earth to live among us, to die for us out of love and obedience, so that we could have righteousness and eternal life through faith in him.

But then, you still get back to the question, why have sin though? And then I realized, it all boils down to love, to choice. What does love and choice have to do with each other? Everything! God could have easily created sin-proof robots that would never sin against him. But, that takes the choice out of it, and there is no love if there is no freedom of choice. God gave us the gift of choice so that we could choose to love him, he doesn't force us to love him. That is true love, that we choose to love him. And thus, we have the choice to sin, the choice to love, the choice to be his child. And so, to bring sin into the world, and therefore choice, we had to have that "serpent of old, called the Devil and Satan (NKJV)," which thus resultingly paved the way for Christ, for salvation, and for the kingdom of God.

The sovereignty of God is so incredible, it really blows my mind!

Isaiah 52:13-15---53

2007-07-30T12:32:00.000-05:00

13 See, my servant will act wisely;
he will be raised and lifted up and highly exalted.

14 Just as there were many who were appalled at him—
his appearance was so disfigured beyond that of any man
and his form marred beyond human likeness—

15 so will he sprinkle many nations,
and kings will shut their mouths because of him.
For what they were not told, they will see,
and what they have not heard, they will understand.

Isaiah 53

1 Who has believed our message
and to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?

2 He grew up before him like a tender shoot,
and like a root out of dry ground.
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.

3 He was despised and rejected by men,
a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.
Like one from whom men hide their faces
he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

4 Surely he took up our infirmities
and carried our sorrows,
yet we considered him stricken by God,
smitten by him, and afflicted.

5 But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed.

6 We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned to his own way;
and the LORD has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.

7 He was oppressed and afflicted,
yet he did not open his mouth;
he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,
and as a sheep before her shearers is silent,
so he did not open his mouth.

8 By oppression and judgment he was taken away.
And who can speak of his descendants?
For he was cut off from the land of the living;
for the transgression of my people he was stricken.

9 He was assigned a grave with the wicked,
and with the rich in his death,
though he had done no violence,
nor was any deceit in his mouth.

10 Yet it was the LORD's will to crush him and cause him to suffer,
and though the LORD makes his life a guilt offering,
he will see his offspring and prolong his days,
and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand.

11 After the suffering of his soul,
he will see the light of life and be satisfied ;
by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many,
and he will bear their iniquities.

12 Therefore I will give him a portion among the great,
and he will divide the spoils with the strong,
because he poured out his life unto death,
and was numbered with the transgressors.
For he bore the sin of many,
and made intercession for the transgressors.

Goodbye, Mr. iPod

2007-07-26T22:47:00.000-05:00

So, my iPod shuffle just died. Or rather, I murdered it. I was getting it out of my sister's car and just as I was closing the door, it slipped out of my hand and got closed into the door. It didn't break, but kinda got bent in half. I tried turning it on to see if it would work, and nothing. I've had it for exactly two years, got it on my birthday! But, alas, it has played its last song. You will be missed, my friend. Sad face.

The Lone Summer Post

2007-07-16T23:09:00.000-05:00

Yeah, so I haven't posted all summer. Big deal! J/k. Anyway, here's a few random, bulleted points of what I've been doing.

-Ok, first of all, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is only three days away, and I'm like about to die. I am anxiously awaiting the seventh and final book of the HP series. So who's it gonna be...Harry or Voldemort? My prediction: Harry's going to live of course! You can't end a series like that with evil triumphing!

-Besides that, what have I been doing? Well, I started shadowing an ER doc at a hospital, because that's what I wanna be. Let me tell you, it's been pretty spiffy. I'm attracted to the ER because of it being so unpredictable.

-Well, before I can be a doctor, I have to devote four years of my life to med school, and admission to that requires taking the MCAT. So, yeah, I studied up for that the first half of my summer and took it June 15th. I'm supposed to be getting my score in like 24 hours so I'm kinda nervous about that...

-And, to bring us up to date to today, God taught me something really cool this morning. He taught me..........the gospel. You might think, "Matthew, you're a Christian, you should know what the gospel is..." Well, I did, and I do, but God really made a connection with me today that made me understand it so much better. Everytime I used to hear the word gospel, I would think about the four Gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, and what they contained, the teachings of Christ. Well, I was reading today in Galatians 3 and God shed light on something that I'm sure for most people is obvious, but for me it really was a revelation. In this passage, Paul is admonishing the Galatians for so quickly forgetting their new relationship and freedom in Christ and exchanging it for bondage through the law. Paul brings up the OT patriarch Abraham to make his point (v. 5-9). He explains that Abraham was counted righteous not by works but by his unwavering faith in God. And then it's so cool because Paul says that because of this, the Scripture foresees how the Gentiles would be justified and saved--through faith in God. So many times in the NT the people are told to not forget the gospel they were taught, to not turn to any other teachings, and at the beginning of this letter Paul says the same thing. And today we muddy things up so much, saying you've got to do this, got to be like this, got to give up this, and got to act like this to be saved, to be a Christian. But that is NOT the gospel. The gospel was revealed long ago to Abraham, and is still the same today. We are justified by faith (that's it) in Jesus Christ, are sealed with His Spirit, and are imputed with His righteousness (Galatians 3:5-9, Habakkuk 2:4, Ephesians 1:13-14, Romans 4:22-25).

O for the P

2007-04-26T12:19:00.000-05:00

The Preferential Option for the Poor and Vulnerable
Positive signs in the contemporary world are the growing awareness of the solidarity of the poor among themselves, their efforts to support one another, and their public demonstrations on the social scene which, without recourse to violence, present their own needs and rights in the face of the inefficiency or corruption of public authorities. By virtue of her own evangelical duty the Church feels called to take her stand beside the poor, to discern the justice of their requests, and to help satisfy them, without losing sight of the good of groups in the context of the common good. (Sollicitudo Rei Socialis, para. 39)

As followers of Christ, we are challenged to make a preferential option for the poor, namely, to create conditions for marginalized voices to be heard, to defend the defenseless, and to assess lifestyles, policies and social institutions in terms of their impact on the poor. The option for the poor does not mean pitting one group against another, but rather, it calls us to strengthen the whole community by assisting those who are most vulnerable.

From the Scriptures we learn that the justice of a society is tested and judged by its treatment of the poor. God’s covenant with Israel was dependant on the way the community treated the poor and unprotected—the widow, the orphan and the stranger (Deut. 16.11-12, Ex. 22.21-27, Isa. 1.16-17). Throughout Israel’s history and in the New Testament, the poor are agents of God’s transforming power. In the gospel of Luke, Jesus proclaims that he has been anointed to bring good news to the poor (4.1-22). Similarly, in the Last Judgment, we are told that we will be judged according to how we respond to the hungry, the thirsty, the prisoner and the stranger (Matthew 25.31-46).

Therefore, the preferential option for the poor is not optional. Each Christian must make a choice to lift up the poor and disadvantaged in very real and concrete ways. Preferential option for the poor means that Christians are called to look at the world from the perspective of the marginalized and to work in solidarity for justice.

Student Reflection:
The option for the poor asks everyone to realize the plight of those who struggle to survive, and to put the needs of these most vulnerable members of society ahead of individual selfish interests…We can never stop questioning an oppressive system that forces billions of our brothers and sisters in our country and around the world to live in poverty. We need to ask “why?” Why are people starving around the world? How can the United States, the richest nation in the world, allow its people to live in poverty, to be homeless in the “land of opportunity,” to lack good education and adequate health care and to starve to death?…What occurs in the United States and throughout the world that allows so many to have so little when so few have so much? As one of the elite—the fed, the clothed, the sheltered, the educated—what are my responsibilities as I step out into this unjust world society and try to make my way?-- Christine Raslavsky, Seminar on Poverty and Development in Chile, 1995.

Questions for discussion/reflection:
1. The Bishop’s Pastoral on the U.S. Economy states, “Followers of Christ must avoid a tragic separation between faith and everyday life…economic life is one of the chief areas where we live out our faith [and] love our neighbor.” In what ways ought we manage our economic resources as faithful Christians? In what ways are you conscious of those who are economically poor or disadvantaged?
2. What are some very concrete ways that you can make a preferential option for the poor?
3. Are we collectively responsible for the conditions of poverty both locally and globally? What can you do both directly and indirectly to work for change?

http://centerforsocialconcerns.nd.edu/mission/cst/cst4.shtml

Psalm 73

2007-04-26T05:51:00.000-05:00

21 When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,

22 I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.

23 Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.

24 You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.

25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

27 Those who are far from you will perish;
you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.

28 But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge;
I will tell of all your deeds.

A Great Summer...

2007-04-24T06:34:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I'm excited...

None But Jesus-Hillsong United

2007-04-17T12:45:00.000-05:00

In the quiet, in the stillness
I know that You are God
In the secret of Your presence
I know there I am restored

When You call I won’t refuse
Each new day again I’ll choose

There is no one else for me
None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring Him praise

In the chaos, in confusion
I know You’re Sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness
You give me grace to do Your will

When You call I won’t delay
This my song through all my days

All my delight is in You Lord
All of my hope, all of my strength
All my delight is in You Lord Forevermore

Photography, Vocabulary, and the Lottery

2007-04-05T15:35:00.000-05:00

What do those three things have in common? Well, nothing actually. But those three things are the topic of this post! So today is Thursday, the day before Good Friday, which we have off from school. In other words, everyone is going home today...except me, of course. See, I have a Ballroom Dancing class TONIGHT that was NOT canceled at 7 pm. "Why don't you skip?" you may ask yourself. Well, it's a pass/fail class, and you if you miss more than three classes you fail. Unfortunately, I've already missed three.

I say all that to make the point that I am still here and therefore have had a lot of free time today since my only class got over at like 11:15. So, I decided I would go to my favorite park in town and just chill! It's quite a popular park, with its landscaping, greenery, and waterfall. Thus, you'll often see people there taking pictures. Well, I didn't think that it being so near to Easter, that people would be there in their pretty little 'Easter outfits.' While I was there, there were two different moms there with their respective children. And I think I learned a life lesson: Never photograph your on kids. Just don't do it. I mean, you know the moms were asking for it, just having the kids all dressed up. And besides, what do kids want to do in a nice big open green space? Play, run around, goof off, etc. Not take pictures. I found it quite hilarious, and a few times downright disturbing, as the mom would yell at her kids to get their attention. "Nate! Nate! Look at me honey. Blu blu blu blu blu (strange high-pitched sound remenicient of a chicken)! Nate! NAAAAAATTTEEE!" I mean, really, is that necessary. What kid wants to listen to mommy tell them how to sit and where to look when the sun is out, the grass is soft, and there's a nice breeze?

Ok, now to vocabulary. So, while trying not to be distracted in the park, I did what I came to do-read. I actually started reading a book that was NOT required for class. Those are the best kind! It's Mountains Beyond Mountains by Tracy Kidder. He's a journalist who became friends with a doctor named Paul Farmer who does tons of volunteer work in Haiti and elsewhere in the world. I just started the book today, so this won't be a review. Rather, in only reading a few pages, I learned some cool new vocabulary:

haranguing: (noun) a scolding or a long or intense verbal attack; diatribe
ebullience: (noun) high spirits; exhilaration; exuberance

And now to the last topic, the lottery. So at Mercer we have a lottery system to determine housing assignments for next year. Some of my good friends who are living together got pretty shafted. Seriously, their numbers were like 456, 475, 476, 460...out of like 500 or so, which means that's their position in line to get their desired housing. AKA, they likely won't get their desired housing. Not cool. They're pretty upset, and I would be too. Seniors get the low end it seems.

Well that's all for now. I'm out like a skanky trout.

Crazy Elephants

2007-03-21T20:18:00.000-05:00

So, here's some chemistry humor for you. I find it extremly humorous anyway. In my chemistry book, it always has like charts or pictures in the margins of the pages to describe things or concepts. Well, there is a random picture of an elephant with this comment:

"An elephant, decidedly unimpressed by the fact that it uses the same molecule as a mating pheremone as do several species of moths."

I mean, are you kidding me? How do you know an elephant is "decidedly unimpressed"? Even if you could ask an elephant how it feels, do you really think it would describe itself that way? It's just funny to me because it's just so completely random and out of place...

Huh?

2007-03-13T09:08:00.000-05:00

Ok, here's something I really don't understand. I hear about this stuff all the time, and today I got a foward, so I'll let you read it, then I'll make my comments...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Rules for the phone.

How ALL business phones SHOULD be answered!

GOOD MORNING, WELCOME TO THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

Press "1" for English.

Press "2" to disconnect until you learn to speak English

And remember only two defining forces have ever
offered to die for you,

Jesus Christ

and the American Soldier.

One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.

If you agree......keep it going

----------

What's the big deal with the "English only" sentiment? Did you know that the United States of America has NO OFFICIAL LANGUAGE? That's right, check it out, do some research. And why should it? We had multicultural and multilingual beginnings, and still do today.

I have a big problem with equating the death of Jesus Christ, through which we receive forgiveness of sins and salvation, with the death of a soldier. No, No, No. You can talk about the two all you want, but please don't do it in the same context as if they are similar. I'm not being anti-American, I'm just being honest. Besides, the Christian should consider whether it is even Biblical to go to war and kill others. Sure, there were plenty of battles and wars in the Old Testament, but the New Testament stresses love and forgiveness for all, especially enemies.

I just have all sorts of problems with this type of sentiment. It seems to put speaking English, being Christian, and fighting wars on a level playing field. What happened to loving and accepting all?

"But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven" [Matthew 5:44-45a]

"The most important is, 'Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these." [Mark 12:29-31]

"There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." [Galatians 3:28]

About the URL

2007-02-26T14:42:00.000-05:00

Ephesians 3:19 is my life verse. My goal in life. My goal as a Christian. A goal which, I think, encompasses pretty well what Christianity is about.

"For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith--that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. [Epheisans 3:14-19]

"To know the love of Christ." Wow. How could I ever even begin to comprehend that? God Himself dying a horrible death on a cross for me? How could I ever grasp the reasons for the God of the universe humbly coming to earth to save an unworthy sinner like me? I think to know and experience this love is quite an amazing concept. Knowing the love implies so many other things.

By nature of knowing and accepting Christ's love, I am a part of it, which means I am His child, eternally His.

"Whoever loves has been born of God and knows God" [1 John 4:7b]
"By [love] we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit." [1 John 4:13]
By loving God and Him loving me, how could I not unconditionally love others?

"Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another." [1 John 4:11]
"If anyone says, "I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother." [1 John 4:20-21]
Because of God's love, I can be confident in Him and His promises. Having fear shows that I am not steadfast in my walk with God, that my faith is wavering, and that I am not constantly surrendering my all to Him. I must remember that in those time of fear, that those feelings are not from God, but from Satan.

"By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love." [1 John 4:17-18]
I can never fully "know" the love of Christ! Though we are instructed to know and try to understand it, it is an impossible feat! Christ's love "surpasses knowledge." It is beyond comprehension. The point of knowing the love of Christ is to experience the love of Christ, though it is far too great to fully understand. But it changes our lives! Through this daily understanding and experiential application of Christ's love, we gradually become sanctified and more like God.

So, those are just a few reasons why Ephesians 3:19 means so much to me, though there are plenty more.

So, I made a blog...

2007-02-24T12:55:00.000-05:00

...and it's entitled "ramblings," because it will probably be just that. But hopefully, amidst all the randomness, there will be some actual good stuff in here that keeps you interested. I warn you upfront, however, that I will not post regularly! My postings will be quite random--I may post everyday for a week and then not post again for a month. Hey, I'm a college kid and that's just how it is! I would like to give a huge thanks to all my (future) readers! Comments and discussion are appreciated.